The last time I had a Jehovah Witness at my door was after I had either Lydia or Micah. I had been home only days and was in no mood to talk. That was either two or four years ago. Living in the country really cuts down on the door-to-door calls we used to get in the neighborhood.

Have you ever experienced the panic, don't-know-what-I'd-say feeling when anticipating these knocks on your door? I sure have. But, this day, I was excited when I saw I had a J.W. on my porch. I stepped outside without any hesitation. I knew what I believed and I knew I knew my God. Personally. All through the redemptive work of Jesus, my Lord and Savior. And, I have the Spirit of the living God abiding in me. Bring it. :)

So, here we stand with smiles, convictions, scripture, and passion. Neither is budging. It was peaceful to know I could defend my faith but heartbreaking to see that here two women stand so sure they are right, but someone HAS to be wrong-and it wasn't me.

That sent me on a self-searching journey. Why isn't it me? How do I know I have eternal life? Because I know my God. He is a Triune God, Creator of all and I have sinned against Him. I deserve His justice-eternal separation and an eternity of punishment. I know His incredible love for me. Instead of leaving me in my desperate state, He poured His wrath on His only Son-my Savior, Jesus Christ.

So, she left content for us to be in disagreement and I shut my door with a heavy heart. Oh, that her eyes would be opened as were mine.

Why do I know truth? Because of undeserving GRACE.

Thank you, Lord.

After these encounters, it's so easy to self-evaluate and wish this and that would have been said. Scripture came to mind after she had gone. This keeps me humble that I need to commit God's word to memory and to plead for the work of the Holy Spirit to bring it to my mouth.

On my heart

As mentioned before, I think of a lot of things to blog about but don't take the time to do it. Well, one thing that is really heavy on my heart is the very controversial view of the Doctrines of Grace also known as Calvinism. Now, I personally don't like to say I am a Calvinist because Calvin was a mere man (a sinner) who did some terrible things in his life and when anyone wants to attack the view of the doctrines of grace, he is an easy target. The second reason I don't like the title is because Paul himself warned Christians not to say they are of Paul or Apollos. Believers are to say, "I am of the Lord Jesus Christ."

This is a widely debated topic across the globe and I will be the first to say I am no scholar or theological expert on it. However, I have been convinced in my heart that when I stand before my Savior on the Great Judgement Day, it will be confirmed that I did not place the cloak of righteousness on myself but that it was placed on me by the great mercy and grace of a loving Father. Not because of anything I've done to deserve it, but by His own good pleasure and will.

There is much, much, much to say on this matter and so many have said lots so as not to create a huge debate platform, I just want to share what's on my heart of late concerning this wonderful doctrine of grace.

I've been handed a lot of pamphlets and gotten into some very heated unexpected debates with family members on this topic. Let me stress unexpected. I don't look for the opportunity to discuss this topic and won't finish the conversation if there are underlying tones of anger. I will do my best to convey what I believe if it comes up. I can't help but want to defend my God and Savior. Here's an example. God did not crush His Son just to sit back and say to the world, "Okay, I've done my part now I'm just waiting on you." The Bible is clear that none seek after God and that we are at enmity with Him. So to say that we choose Him is wrong. Secondly and lastly for now, Christ will have His full reward for His sufferings.

Here are some great sermons that have helped me tremendously savor this doctrine:

Click on Session III John MacArthur

God's Particular Love for Election