Character First or Christ First?

Wanting your kids to have good character is not a bad thing. In fact, I pursued this approach when I thought about raising Emily. But if this is the main focus, the danger in that is the focus is on external behavior and attitudes, and not on the most important target-the heart. Sure, I want my kids to learn dependability, courage, truthfulness, kindness, etiquette, joyfulness, hard work, perseverance, self-control, gentleness, forgiveness, honesty, loyalty, orderliness, serving, responsibility, determination, initiative, decisiveness, and more.

But, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WANT MY KIDS TO LEARN IS THIS: they have a wicked heart, deceitful above all things and they are full of sin, desirous to live a life completely opposite of these character qualities. And, that sin of selfish rebellion is deserving of God's righteous wrath. Not a popular thing to bring before your kids. We're tempted to tell them stories of Daniel in the lion's den and dare them to be a Daniel-drawing on strength from God. Or the courage of David, as he faced Goliath and had faith in God. Ruth is seen as the loyal daughter-in-law that was blessed as an apparent reward for her faithfulness and determination. But these stories make the wrong person the hero.

The best thing I have learned is to see God's Word as a complete story, not a bunch of moral lessons grouped together. But, one story about One Person. One Savior. The only thing we can relate to in these stories is the complete helplessness, sinful, alienated state we find our characters in. But God, being rich in mercy has saved us in Jesus Christ.

Every story points to Christ. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He is what reconciles us to our Creator. He is the author and finisher of our faith. The gospel must be God-centered, not man-centered.

And, if God so chooses to open our little ones' eyes, they will learn through the sanctification process to become humble, meek, and loving-you know, all those character qualities we listed above.

This is a much easier process. Live a gospel-centered life, always pointing your kids to the cross and the outward will reflect on the inward transformation. But, beware. If you focus primarily on outward actions, you run a high risk of creating one good bluffer. And what a dangerous place to be-to not know your child's heart.

Lord bless you as you raise your little ones.

Oh, and in no way have I mastered this!! :)