Down Isaac Lane a.k.a. Life on the Compound

First Pinterest Project: Rain Gutter Bookshelves

2012-01-26T23:36:00.001-08:00

And we have success! I'm tellin' ya, I definitely would not consider myself crafty in the artsy department. That's why Pinterest and me have a love-hate relationship. I pin things that look amazing and super easy, then I find myself walking around the Man Store, Goodwill and Michaels like a deer in headlights. I can't help thinking, "What in the world am I looking for again?!"

Thanks to my bestie, Jay Dawg, I was able to get exactly what I needed for the coolest shelves ever: rain gutter bookshelves. And thanks to my wonderful hubster who measured, printed out exactly what I needed and hung these bad boys, my kiddos have their own personal reading nooks.

Chocolate Applesauce Cake: Allergen-Free!

2012-01-19T12:59:00.001-08:00

Ever come across someone who is: gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, sugar-free, and wonder what in the world they can eat? I'll be honest, I'm not sure how people do it day in and day out. However, thanks to two wonderful women in my life, my mom-in-love and sis-in-love, I'm entering into that world and loving it.

All of my previous baked goods came from a box. And not a healthy one. I'd go to the store, buy a box, bring it home, mix, bake and serve. To cook from scratch scared me. Not sure why, but wasn't it just easier to open a box, throw in some eggs, water and oil and call it good? Well, it certainly was easy, but once I started reading labels and caring about what I saw, I couldn't buy the ~~poison~~ harmful fake chemicals anymore. Then, this cake entered my life and I was hooked! It's so easy!

So, this is to make all you gluten/sugar/egg/dairy intolerant folks--and anyone who loves chocolate cake happy.

What you'll need:

2 cups rice flour
1/2 cup cacao or cocoa powder
1 tsp sea salt
2 tsp baking soda
1 cup honey
3/4 cup oil; I use organic, expeller pressed canola oil, can use coconut
2 1/4 cup naturally sweetened applesauce
2 tsp vanilla

Pre-heat oven to 350*

Sift dry ingredients together, or just mix with wire whisk.

In separate bowl, combine wet ingredients.

Combine dry with wet and blend well.

Pour into greased 9x13 pan and bake for 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean.
Cook's note: I use Demarle flower mold that does not require extra grease, but did increase baking time to approx. 40 minutes.

This cake is delish! It's moist, dense and has been known to cure chocolate cravings.

You can make a yummy ganache using 1 can coconut milk, 3 Tbl cocoa or carob powder, 1/8 tsp Stevia, 1 tsp vanilla. Bring to a boil stirring often, don't overcook. If you put it in the freezer 20 minutes prior to serving, it thickens up and not as soupy.

Though I've had this ganache with this cake and love it, I've yet to make it because I don't think it's a must. I'm not a real saucy kind of gal--contraire to what my husband might say. ;D My hubby, who loves his food drenched, put applesauce on top and, I must admit, it was yummy!

So, there you have it. A yummy, easy, allergen-free cake that doesn't taste like cardboard. :) Enjoy!!

Don't forget to clean up. ;D

And...expect to see this--

World's Biggest Failure

2012-01-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!! I can't believe this blog is still here. Pretty sure I didn't post once last year. Life is full with 4 kiddos and homeschooling three of them. Chasing my youngest should be an Olympic sport. Man, can that kid get into mischief. Just tonight I found a package of toilet paper in their room, a book in the pantry and I still hear him talking in his bed. It's 10pm!! He's our little busy blessing.

So this year I'm hoping to write a little more. I can't tell you how often I think of things to share but time is just not there. I'm doing good to keep clean clothes in the drawers. Or at least off my bed. Anyone else keep a pile of clean clothes on their bed with full intention of folding and putting away before bed; only to shift it back to the laundry basket? yah, me too...(I'm really hoping I'm not the only one)..

Nobody likes feeling like a failure and by this time of the year you might feel like one because you've set out, with good intentions, to keep some New Year's resolution, but have already slipped and caved in. Whether it's giving up a bad habit or starting a good one, it's hard to stay on track. For those of you going strong--way to go!!

One resolution that tends to lose steam and excitement is reading through the Bible. It's no fun going to your checklist and seeing the missed days and soon, you table the idea. It's like those dates mock you, sneer at you and scream failure in your face. Okay, maybe it's just me. Point is, if you're like me and really wanted to make this your year, you haven't even started and it kinda stinks. In the past I might have had good intentions to "just start today" but it's no fun checking a box that reads January 1 and it's January 29.

I'm here to share with you a very cool new Bible reading plan that's for shirkers and slackers. Check this out, it's called Bible Reading Program for Slackers and Shirkers. Love it! Read Margie's story and hope you find some inspiration!

Happy reading and growing in God's amazing grace this new year!

Jolly Gift Ideas

2010-12-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

I know some pretty incredible people and they make some pretty amazing things. Need gift ideas? Let me introduce you to some of my very talented friends who can fill your stockings and bless that special someone without the crowds.

Custom boards for home decor can be found here at Corner Barn & Co. Tina says it's not too late to get your custom Christmas order in!

Our new favorite soap comes from Yvonne at Clean Hands Soap Company.

Want to teach your kids who God is in a fun way through music? Check out Dana and her family at Songs for Saplings!

There are two more really cool ladies I know that own shops on Etsy, but they've closed shop for the holidays. Check them out after the new year for unique, hand-made items. Sarah Kate at Cranny and Sarah at The Casual Princess.

Happy Shopping!

Any Readers Left?

2010-11-30T13:28:00.000-08:00

I'd be surprised seeing that I haven't posted in like, forever! I don't have to tell you that life is crazy. Busy, busy, busy and this time of year is no exception. In fact, it's this time of year that schedules are packed full of holiday activities. I so wish I had more time in my day.

But, if I had more time, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't guarantee I'd post more-or start using it wisely. Might as well learn to live with my 24 hours God gave me.

It's December 2 and I really don't want to decorate for Christmas. Not because I'm not loving this time of year, quite the opposite. It thrills me to pull out our red bins from storage and hear the kids get excited. It's buggin' a little that I don't see when I can do it and I don't want to decorate two weeks before Christmas. We leave tomorrow for a weekend in Sunriver to attend Oregon's Make it With Wool Contest. I'm looking forward to seeing Doug's sister and family from Sweet Home. Oregon, not Alabama. :) And this is something our family looks forward to as it provides a little vaca for us. Plus, the girls worked really hard on their skirts and we get a kick out of seeing them model them for the judges.

Next weekend we have Doug's company party Friday and then Emily's Piano program Saturday. Guess I'll have to decorate in the middle of the week. Couldn't I just skip this year? It's all for Jesus, right? He doesn't care if we don't put up a tree.

Just kidding. We'll decorate. But, I want to know what your family does this time of year to make the art of decorating for the celebration of our Savior's birth not become a dull task or laborious job.

One more book for my queue?

2010-07-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

Just might have to make room for this one.

DugDownDeep_Carnahan.mov from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

Here's a summary of the book: Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris.
http://www.joshharris.com/bookblog/book-summary.php

It's a YouTube Kind of Post

2010-07-10T19:50:00.001-07:00

If you know me well, you know that I have the tendency to be all or nothing in my thoughts/actions/attitudes. As you also have seen, I don't write on this here bloggy-blog very often as I'm a busy mama of four. There are so many things I want to write about (a line I think I've written several times already on here) and yet the time just doesn't allow. Time-management is an area I struggle with and am working on. But, I digress.

Here recently I've come across several videos that I thought were worth sharing. If I had my act together, I would make them three different posts, as they are all un-related. However, I am doing it all--to avoid doing nothing. :)

My first video is of Mark Driscoll sharing his thoughts on the church family. It was very convicting and I am curious what speaks to you through what he has to say:

The second video is a funny video that some may see as a slap in the face if it's the way their church does things, but I see it as a way of showing us that we all have our own style of worship and without Christ, it's just routine. Let's not lose sight of what worship is. For me, I want my outward actions to be a pure, natural reaction to what God has done in my heart. How about you? Does worship matter to you and how to you overcome idols of the heart?

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

The last is a song that really describes where I'm at right now. I am in a battle of the flesh. I've recently come to see that there are certain things (okay things) that simply do not fit in my life. If I am to be holy as He is holy, I must, must let go of certain things that I know feed my flesh. Is it temporary? Maybe. Regardless, I want to be used of God and I can't be a vessel for Him with these idols in my way. So, enjoy this song and may it lift you to a new level of righteous living.

It's All Our Fault

2010-06-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

Sorry our mommy hasn't been on here writing about stuff, but we keep her pretty busy. :)

First Thoughts of the Day

2010-04-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

"For Christians, the beginning of the day should not be burdened and haunted by various kinds of concerns that they face during the day. The Lord stands above the new day, for God has made it. All restlessness, all impurity, all worry and anxiety flee before him. Therefore, in the early morning hours of the day, may our many thoughts and our many idle words be silent and may the first word and the first thought belong to the one to whom our whole life belongs "
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer

One Hundred Eleven

2010-04-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

Since entering the blogging world I've noticed a fun trend of bloggers making a list of 100 facts (useless, humorous and down-right interesting) about oneself when they reached their hundredth post. I couldn't wait until I reached this seemingly notable milestone in the blogoshpere.

But fate would have it that at my 100th post I felt led to write about the marvelous grace of God and recount how He drew me to Himself.

Now I'm thinking it would be fun to make a list and join the par-tay and just add eleven more to my "list". So, here I go:

1. I love being a wife.
2. I love being a mom.
3. It's not easy being a wife.
4. Or a mom.
5. I shop at the world's largest Costco.
6. I have a desire to grow in godliness but battle laziness and self-sufficiency.
7. Jesus Christ paid my debt and wish I had words to explain how awesome that is.
8. I don't like bees.
9. My husband is a visionary.
10.His latest project is to raise bees.
11. I have no desire to help.
12. His bees died and I was secretly rejoicing.
13. I repented in my heart and told him I was sorry he lost his hives.
14. I'm thinking this list is getting more boring by the second.
15. I will say that I have THE best friends a girl could ask for.
16. God has been ever so kind to bring these godly women into my life.
17. I'm thinking about abandoning this project.
18. Like, right now.
19. Hey, I know. I'll just copy the 111th Psalm. Let's see what that says:

Psalm 111
Great Are the LORD’s Works

1. Praise the LORD!I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart,
in the company of the upright, in the congregation.
2. Great are the works of the LORD,
studied by all who delight in them.
3. Full of splendor and majesty is his work,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4. He has caused his wondrous works to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and merciful.
5. He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.
6. He has shown his people the power of his works,
in giving them the inheritance of the nations.
7. The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy;
8. they are established forever and ever,
to be performed with faithfulness and uprightness.
9. He sent redemption to his people;
he has commanded his covenant forever.
Holy and awesome is his name!
10. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever!

And to that list, all I can say is, AMEN and AMEN!

Biggest Loser

2010-04-15T22:44:00.001-07:00

This post is for the ladies.

The other night I was at Jen's house and she read this from her facebook feed,a status that said:
Know any ladies interested in modeling? My sister's company is looking to hire Seattle-area female size medium models who are athletic, fit, tone, and not self-conscious about wearing a sports bra in front of a crowd of 40+ men and women. (Must be at least 5'5" women's size medium, fit, and between ages of 20 and 35). ...
To which she replied: I have the height and age limit down. I TOTALLY fit the description...under a few layers of course. thanks for the good little giggle tonight...at my own expense.

We were laughing so hard. Oh the mental pictures that went through my head thinking of myself sporting my non-fit body. Ain't nobody who wants to see that! Except my sweetie. He is so loving and kind to love me and my fat rolls and doesn't care I have a few stretch marks and a 6 months pregnant-looking bod. Well, I am nursing, so cut that down to five and a half.

My sister (in whom I admire for her self-control and discipline) challenged me a couple of weeks ago to do a weight-loss program with her and my mom. I'm supposed to be counting calories, drinking water, journaling what I eat and exercising. And no, my rebounder doesn't count. Oh, it would if I actually exerted myself, but let's face it, I'm lazy. With a capitol L. It's hard and I don't like to sweat. Needless to say, I haven't done much.

The other day a friend was over and she shared her desire to start exercising and change the way she's feeding her family and wants encouragement and accountability. She had talked with a few of our other friends about starting a "Biggest Loser" type accountability plan. I totally begged to jump on that train.

Well, I got the email tonight that it's going to start. Rats, no more procrastinating. I do need all the help I can get but it's like giving birth. No matter how much you know or how many great coaches, doulas, midwives, doctors, experts you have, in the end, it's all about you and the baby (and the gracious hand of God). No one else can come in and do the hard work for you.

So now I'm mentally preparing to be ready to go on Monday. I had to remind myself that this is not to feed my own vanity. How hard is that going to be? We women want to look good in our clothes and be attractive to our husbands. But as I mentioned before, my sweetie takes me as I am. So if I were to be totally honest, I want to lose weight because of me and how good I will look.

Trying to remember 1 Corinthians 10:31.

I want my life to speak of God's goodness, greatness, love and mercy. Not how good I look in my jeans.

This is going to be so hard.

Pardon the mess...

2010-04-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

...while I re-arrange and give my blog a little make-over. I could spend so much time on here but must run. We're leaving the kids (and their tattling and complaining) to Nana and going on a date night. :)

Come back soon!

Hey, what do you think of the new name?

Oh, and one more thing. Can I just say that Jessica over at A Blog to Brag About is awesome!

Emily told me it's not good to brag. :D

The Power of the Cross

2010-04-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

Do you see your name written in His wounds?
Are you forgiven at the cross?

Where does the time go...

2010-03-31T15:52:00.001-07:00

Any parent will tell you that time flies when you have kids. As you see your kids grow up before your eyes you ask yourself, "where has the time gone?".

Yesterday we celebrated 5 wonderful years with our Lydia Kay. She is such a sweetheart and it is my prayer that we will not waste our time with her, or her siblings, and that we continually teach her about the wonderful work of God and His amazing love toward sinners.

Happy Birthday (a day late) to our baby girl, Lydia.

I want the tears to come again

2010-03-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon I thought about this coming Sunday being Easter, a day we celebrate Christ's work on the cross, and I was sad that it didn't do much in my heart. I wasn't doubting my spiritual state, but recognized I had become dry in what it means. I haven't forgotten the desperate condition I'm in without Jesus because I do find myself slowly walking the christian walk of faith and repentance. But there was a time I had cried over John 19 and I wanted those tears to come again. I want my heart to rejoice every day, not just one Sunday a year. But it just wasn't there. Until today...

In my twitter feed, I saw this video:

Then I thought about John 19 and how it doesn't end there. Christ is risen! He conquered death and gave us life.

And the tears came.

Hallelujah, what a Savior!

Prepare your heart now for this Sunday. Seek to marvel in Christ's work today when you are dealing with laundry, crying babies, stress at work, strain in relationships...you name it. If you are a child of the King you are not lost in His love for you. Another quote from my facebook feed: Though grief comes, God will show compassion, so great is the Spirit's unfailing love in your life. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Lamentations 3:32 & 1 Cor 13:7.

Maybe you are on top of the world, so-to-speak, and life couldn't be any better. Marvel still. One of the elders of my church asked a question along the lines of this: "What does the resurrection mean to you?" Today I saw that the resurrection shows me my self-exalting, self-sufficient, all-about-me-and-my-flesh attitude, then crushed it beneath the cross. The resurrection brings life and freedom. My best day is because of God's grace. My worst day is still ordained by my gracious God. Let us not forget why we celebrate Easter.

Here's to a great week in preparing for the celebration of the most glorious day the world has ever seen.

Because Life is Priceless

2010-03-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

Each year thousands of women face unwanted pregnancies. I'm so thankful for places like Pregnancy Resource Centers that help these women, and the men in their lives, walk through these difficult situations.

I was excited to receive a flyer advertising this year's PRC's Steps for Life walkathon. Last year I walked with my kids (well, Emily and I walked while I pushed Lydia and Micah in the stroller) and we loved it. When Emily saw the flyer she remembered the walk and asked again why we did this. She had heard what abortions were before (on her maturity level) and it satisfied her curiosity at the time. Yesterday she wanted to know more. What I have always told her was simple: sometimes a woman gets pregnant and doesn't feel like she can take care of the baby and thinks it's okay to kill the baby. I don't dramatize it, I just lay it out there, but with compassion in my voice. You see, there was a time when I told myself I would have an abortion in a heartbeat if I got pregnant so I know the mindset.

She started to tear up and asked, as if making a comment,: "They do it gently, right? They don't hurt the baby?" At this point I have tears in my eyes. She asked with a plea in her voice wanting to hear me say yes. I had to say no. It was almost a whisper. We cried together. I then looked at her with a smile and said this is why we do this walk. I went on to tell her what PRC does for women and unborn babies. I asked if she wanted to pray with me. We bowed our heads and through tears we praised God for creating life and for places like PRC who bring, most importantly, the hope of Jesus Christ. I praised Him for changing the way I thought about life, rejoicing at my new heart in Him. Emily looked at me and still crying said, "Thank you for not killing me." Bless her heart. God's grace is evident by my changed viewpoint. Life is priceless.

So, if you are available May 15th, join me and hundreds of others who walk for babies. See the promo here and look closely at the little girl getting a pink flower painted on her cheek. That's my Emily. :)

http://www.stepsforlife.info/

And if you want to sponsor me, please visit my PRC webpage here: https://www.gifttool.com/athon/ParticipantAreaMyWebPage?ID=1383&AID=1034

Rejoicing With Those Who Rejoice

2010-03-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

This story made me smile so big and say, WOW! What a God we serve!

http://mollypiper.com/2010/03/we-had-an-ultrasound-today-wanna-know-more-2/

A little experiment

2010-03-15T14:46:00.001-07:00

If you know me, you will know that I talk a lot about ideas on organizing our home. I do not like clutter. Have I mastered this? No way. Are we getting closer? You betcha.

Because I am not task oriented, I went to my dear hubby. He is all about projects and getting them done so he was naturally my best teammate in helping me with my hot button: toys on the floor. No matter how many times a day I ask the children to clean up, there is always remnants of their imaginative play. Play kitchen mixed with dress-up scattered with farm toys littered with books, puzzles, trucks, tractors, doll house....aaaAAAhhhHHH! It's all too. much. stuff.

So, we took out the play kitchen and put the dishes in a bin, dress-up had its own bin, dollhouse was given away (they weren't playing with it) and farm toys were put in its own bag. In a nutshell, each toy had its place. Baskets held trucks, tractors and train sets while plastic bins kept like items neatly together. But it still was too much.

A while ago, my sister was telling me about a program she watched about the people of Denmark, I think, and how they paid outrages taxes but were still able to pay cash for their homes. They were definitely living the Dave Ramsey lifestyle. Not using credit and owning very little. Now I'm not going to rant (I've done that before) about how we consume way too much. Instead, I want to share how we are trying to show our kids they don't need all these stinkin' toys.

My kids' room has been a sore spot with me for some time. I'll get around to getting rid of toys at Christmas and near birthdays, but it's never quite enough. Once the toys get organized, I stop there because I'm satisfied with the end result of the toys being put away properly. Until five minutes later, when they are pulled out again and all over the place.

Okay, back to our experiment. Despite the organized bins and baskets, I still found it wasn't enough to keep the chaos down. So, we brought all their toys into the front room and allowed them to pick out only a few toys each to play with and we bagged the rest. We're talking bare minimum. The girls have one doll each and a stuffed animal. Let me just say that was a HUGE step for them. They have a ton of stuffed animals and all are very special. Micah has a few trucks and two stuffed animals.

That's it for their own personal toys. Now, we still have play sets that belong in bins but they are out of reach so I control when they come down and make sure they are picked up when they are done. It's really hard to appreciate this huge step for us without seeing before and after, but let me tell ya, it's a whole lot nicer around here in the area of clutter.

If toy clutter is your hot button, give this a try. And if you aren't a task-oriented kind of gal, get someone who can help. Believe me, you will need their voice of reason when you find yourself saying, "oh, maybe they can keep this one..." I've been there, done that because once the toys got organized, I would stop and rethink the idea of downsizing. Now that we've succeeded, it feels great.

For great organizing tips and simple living, visit my favorite blog: www.simplemom.net

Serving With the Right Heart

2010-03-09T13:56:00.000-08:00

It always amazes me when I see a mom maintain not only a blog, but a blog about doing things yourself. Like this:

Cute isn't it? But, how does she have the time to maintain a home, raise her kids, love her husband and make burlap wreaths--THEN tell the world about it? Well, I'm sure she would say she doesn't do it all because she is some super-human. I'm slowly seeing that there are many talented women out there that do things differently than me, and not because they have some secret hidden power. I believe they have found their gift, embraced it and use it to the glory of God. Okay, the last is assuming they have moved from appreciating God's common grace into His saving grace. But, the point is, I need to stop looking at other people's gifts with envy and sadness and start praising God for what He has given me, then rejoice and use it.

I posted a facebook status the other day that said: Has a burden to minister in my season of child-rearing. How to balance it all? By God's grace. Romans 1:16. This sparked a lot of thumbs-ups and several comments that reminded me of my first and foremost area of ministry: my children and husband. My kids need to be raised in the truth and knowledge of Jesus Christ. My husband needs my support and encouragement to walk worthy of the Lord. Together, we need to raise our kids with a purpose to make much of God. I can not agree more. This time of having my little ones at home is fleeting and I better not get so involved with the church that I neglect my family.

But, having said that, I also can't get so wrapped in my family that I neglect the church. Though I have four children, I am not too busy to serve. There's a reason for why I think I'm not serving or serving enough. Because I look at what others are doing and I compare my talent to their talent. I have spiritual envy. Instead of rejoicing over the gifts of my fellow brother and sister, I pine for the same talent or sulk at the inability to do it their way. How sinful.

God did not make a mistake when He made us. Each has a unique gift and a season to use it in. As I manage my home I want to be more aware of the little eyes watching me and make sure I am making so much of God, that I become invisible. These little ones will learn more by my actions than my words. So I pray I will become a doer of the word and not a hearer only.

Lord, help me keep this burden to serve continually before you. I need direction and gospel-centered motive so you will be glorified and magnified. Satisfy my longing heart with your steadfast love, grace and mercy. In Jesus' name.

10 years ago I was...

2010-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

...partying hard. Y2K was in the back of everyone's mind, I was working my up the corporate ladder, I loved living in Portland and I was really happy with my life. I had great friends and thought life could only get better. I spent New Year's back in southern Oregon, where I had grown up, around a bonfire getting drunk and smoking marijuana. Before making my way there, I had stopped off at my local hangout where I danced, drank and handed out "Y2K OK" stickers. These stickers were placed on the computers of the bank I was working at to ensure our customers we were in fact, ready for the millennium and the customer's money was indeed safe. Y2K OK. I sure thought I was okay, but life would never be the same in the year 2000 and would be changed forever.

It didn't take long for me to get a strong dose of reality. In January of this new wonderful start to the 21st century, I was fired from my job. Seriously? Me, get fired? Looking back I can see that I was insubordinate, lazy, disorganized and very prideful. I had come to Portland to open a new bank and I was proud as a peacock. My love for the nightlife that city living offered took control and my performance at work showed I was more interested in partying than being an asset to the company.

I wish I could say that was my only problem. Going to clubs several nights a week isn't cheap. To say I had financial problems is an understatement. I had no concept of money. Before moving to Portland I did not have to pay rent, make a car payment or pay any utilities. Every cent I made was spent on pot, drinking, dance clubs and clothes. Once in a while I would make a payment to my department store cards, but not often enough. I was irresponsible with a capital I but wanted to think I was mature. After all, I had a great job and was making my way through the corporate world smoothly and sweetly. Or so I thought.

Before getting to that dreaded Friday afternoon when I heard the words, "We are letting you go", let me tell you how I "handled" my financial hole I had dug so beautifully for myself. How do you fix a negative bank balance? You add a credit. Well, my banking skills lacked honesty, integrity and was down right illegal. In small amounts, I would take money from my drawer then deposit it into my checking account to avoid an overdraft. Believe me when I say this was done with every intention on paying it back. "Next paycheck I will get my budget under control and make good with my drawer." Well, you guessed it, that paycheck never came. Week after week passed and I not only didn't pay it back, but would continue to "borrow" and soon I realized I had stolen over $1700.00. I was able to cover it up by manipulating the paperwork and because I was the only one using my cash drawer, no one knew.

Now we get to the day my boss came to me and said I was fired. I'm sure several curse words ran through my head at that very moment. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I GOING TO DO??? They were going to count my drawer and see what I had done. I have a HUGE problem on my hands. In a panic, I quickly ran another deceitful transaction through to show my drawer had balanced. The source? A certificate of deposit belonging to my best friend's dad. This time, I'm not messing around. As soon as I get a chance, I will confess to my friend and make it right. After all, it will be much easier paying my friend who's like a sister to me than the bank. She'll understand me.

She asked me to live with her since I was no longer employed and I jumped on the offer. Oh, how I wish I could say I confessed and repented right away but truth is I was scared out of my mind. How in the world had I gotten into this mess? My friend is going to kill me. Time. I just needed more time to think it all through. In the meantime, I continued to drink, smoke and not take any responsibility for my life. Two months had past and I not only failed to come up with a plan to confess, I hadn't saved one penny. Not one! I was truly delusional. Maybe it would all go away. Riiight.

If you don't know how a certificate of deposit, or CD, works, click here. You know how I mentioned it belonged to my friend's dad? Well, he was in prison so I didn't think he'd be needing it anytime soon and I took advantage of the fact that this CD wasn't going anywhere. Another spoonful of reality came the day my friend asked me, "What's the penalty for withdrawing money from the CD before the term ends?" Uh, what? Excuse me? How providential that the sister of dear Daddy needed a small loan to save her business and kind-hearted brother was going to loan it to her. From his CD. You have to be freakin' kidding me!! I about died.

Again, I wish I would have taken this divine moment to confess and repent but I sputtered through some banking advice and went to my room. Okay, Jan, snap out of it. This is your opportunity to tell her the truth! There's no more time, no more waiting. You have to tell her NOW! Now was going to come the next morning before she left for the bank. Imagine the sick feeling I got when I noticed I had missed her. She left before I got up. Insert more curse words.

So, long story short, I was busted. The bank of course reimbursed the CD and I was now back owing them. I was very grateful my friend did not press charges. The bank on the other hand--had no problem. And who blames them. I was a thief. A criminal. A liar.

Thankfully, my sister and husband took me in and I was back in Portland living with them. I cooperated fully with the police. I spent nine hours in jail and made complete restitution. How, you might ask? From mutual funds I had invested in. Don't ask me why I didn't tap into that source before. God really had to get a hold of my heart and the only way I would listen was to be aware of my complete hopelessness.

That summer, God rescued me from darkness. I saw my sin was an offense to His holiness. And it wasn't just the sin of stealing the money from the bank, but every sin I had ever committed condemned me to spiritual death. God showed His glorious grace and mercy by opening my eyes to the work of Jesus on the cross. Jesus lived the life I couldn't live. He died the death I should have died. A line from one of my favorite songs says: "Every bitter thought, every evil deed, crowning your blood stained brow. This the power of the Cross. Christ became sin for us. Took the blame, bore the wrath, we stand forgiven at the cross."

A decade later, I am still in awe of His love toward sinners.

This new year I want to see my judgmental heart be melted away into compassion for others who are yet outside the Kingdom. I want to live in a way that shows my kids we are not better than anyone else because we go to church and act a certain way. I want to be a magnifying glass that makes me look small and God look incredibly astronomical.

If you've never come to see your need for a Savior, then you've never seen your sin. Remember, God does not judge you according to your standards but His. Click here to know more. I sincerely hope you do.

Lord bless you this New Year!

Celebrating Jesus

2009-12-24T22:14:00.000-08:00

Learning to submit to our husbands is not easy. Any woman will admit there are areas that are easier to submit to than others. My husband is very easy going and I know he loves me deeply. He lets me get my way (in a healthy way) most of the time. If there are two events to choose from, he's pretty good about letting me pick the one we should attend.

Tonight, being Christmas Eve naturally there were a couple of things we could do. One option was to join our church family at a member's home and celebrate with our friends. The other was to attend the church in our little town of Banks and fellowship there. I was definitely voting for the former. I love people and parties and celebrating holidays with those I know and love. Going to a local congregation did not appeal to me because I knew I wouldn't know anyone there. This church however, has members and attendees that Doug knows from his childhood. Growing up in Banks that makes sense, right? Well, forget about Doug. I want to go to a place where I know the people and where I can have a good time. See how incredibly selfish I am?

Thankfully, my husband said no to my request to party at the Bauman's and insisted we attend the candlelight service at Dayspring Church. And boy am I glad he did. I was so blessed tonight as we were surrounded by people who celebrated Jesus. The music was joyful, yet spoke a message. The admonition from the pastor was loving but purposeful. I heard the gospel tonight and rejoiced in it.

As we closed the service with our candles in hand, the song we sang was Shine Jesus Shine. What a great way to end this night with our minds focused on the work of the Son, the One who overcame the darkness of sin! Here are the lyrics. May you rejoice in the Light of the world tomorrow and celebrate the birth of our risen Lord and Savior.

Lord the Light or Your Love is shining,
In the midst of the darkness shining,
Jesus light of the world shine upon us,
Set us free by the truth You now bring us,
Shine on me. Shine on me.

Shine Jesus shine
Fill this land with the Father's glory
Blaze, Spirit blaze,
Set our hearts on fire
Flow, river flow
Flood the nations with grace and mercy
Send forth Your word
Lord and let there be light.

Lord I come to Your awesome presence,
From the shadows into Your radiance,
By the blood I may enter Your brightness,
Search me, try me, consume all my darkness,
Shine on me. Shine on me.

As we gaze on Your kindly brightness.
So our faces display Your likeness.
Ever changing from glory to glory,
Mirrored here may our lives tell Your story.
Shine on me. Shine on me.

BFF's

2009-12-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

Emily loves her best friend, Becca Jay Kimmel and last night Emily got to spend the night. Jen informed me that they woke up bright and early at 6am!! After getting sent back to bed, they tried to be quiet, but to no avail.

This morning, Emily said to Ms. Jen, "We stayed up all night!" Well, Jen has this great picture proving they did in fact sleep.

What's a blog?

2009-12-09T22:05:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, it's that thing you jot down thoughts, quotes, rants, raves, prayers, songs, and the like. It's been so long. Too long.

There have been so many random thoughts going through my mind and I wish I could transfer my brain waves to my computer and the blog would automatically update. :)

Well, who knows if this hiatus will last or if I will get back into a groove. Anticipating my little baby Caleb will either suck all of my time (which is most likely) or I will make time to keep you all updated on the life of a sinner saved by grace.

Clean Hands and a Pure Heart

2009-11-05T09:56:00.000-08:00

Taken from Pat Sczebel's sermon notes at Worship God 09:

A gap is a break in continuity, a break or a hole in an object. How do we recognize the gap we feel with our relationship with God? Here are the symptoms: "Knowledgeable but impersonal walk with God, a struggle with material things, and a definite lack of personal growth. Something is wrong with this harvest; it contradicts the faith that is supposed to be its source." Timothy Lane, Paul Tripp (How People Change pg. 3)

How do we remedy the gap? Look at Psalm 73:1. God is truly good to Israel and is made most clear to us through the work of Christ. We know God is good because "the Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God." Romans 8:16

Consider these quotes from John Piper's book, Desiring God: "Saving faith is the cry of a new creation in Christ. And the newness of the new creature is that it has a new taste. What was once distasteful or bland is now craved. Saving faith is the confidence that if you sell all you have, and forsake all sinful pleasures, the hidden treasure of holy joy will satisfy your deepest desires."

This is easy to say with our lips, but deny the truth in our hearts when temptation comes and we sin. We envy the wicked who seem to prosper and increase in wisdom and riches. We then become angry or irritated with God. David did. Look at Psalm 73 verses 3-15.

Paul David Tripp says this: "The world is so attractive to our eyes and so seductive to our hearts. The creation can seem so much more real than the Creator. The sights, sounds, touches, and tastes of the world can make us more alive than the purposes, promises, presence and provisions of a God who can neither be seen nor heard. This is a battle you do not win once. It is a battle that you must face every day."

I like what Milton Vincent says in his book, The Gospel Primer: "Though saved, I am daily beset by a sinful flesh that always craves those things that are contrary to the Spirit. These fleshly lusts are vicious enemies, constantly waging war against the good of my soul. Yet they promise me fullness, and their promises are deliciously sweet that I often find myself giving into them as if they were friends that have my best interests at heart. On the most basic of levels, I desire fullness, and fleshly lusts seduce me by attaching themselves to this basic desire. They exploit the empty spaces in me, and they promise that fullness will be mine if I give into their demands. When my soul sits empty and is aching for something to fill it, such deceptive promises are difficult to resist."

So, where is our triumph? Again, God's Word provides the answers. Read Psalm 73:16-28.
When I go into the sanctuary, I echo David's words, "it is good to be near God."

What happens to my appetite for sin when I am filled with Christ? My hunger for sin diminishes and the lies of lust simply lose their appeal. "In the gospel I experience a God who glorifies Himself by filling me with His fullness." Milton Vincent

Here are practical applications that will help us bridge the gap.

Recognize the extent of your own sin. Don't minimize sin and temptation and simply "brush it off". Sin resides in the heart and when we accept the bad news of our condition, the good news of the gospel can have its full affect.
Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. Practice confessing specific sins before God and confessing specific sins before others. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
Turn your eyes towards Christ again. Stop the routine that doesn't satisfy. He made an end to ALL our sin. Our sin has been removed for a reason. In Him is everything we need. He stands and knocks wanting to commune. Schedule times throughout your day to refocus your gaze.
Daily remind yourself of God's grace and goodness. His Word will help us do this. Preach the gospel to yourself everyday. This will fill our hearts with gratefulness, when we see what we deserve vs. what we received. Joy should overflow from a grateful heart.
Daily remind others of His grace and goodness. Move out of your devotion time keeping Christ on your mind onto your lips. Look for ways to talk about Him with others throughout the day. You'll find your soul full with Christ and fleshly lusts losing their appeal. Be mindful of His work in you and in others throughout the day and draw attention to his work.

H1N1 and Common Sense

2009-10-26T21:55:00.000-07:00

I won't lie, I don't want to get the flu and think about it a lot when in public. I'm a little bit of a germaphobe anyway, but this cold and flu season has increased my desire to be extra careful.

My friend, Jennifer, sent this to me and I wanted to share with you. In the end, I do trust God to be our Healer and Great Physician, should we get sick.

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years. The following message given by him.

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (it is impolite to do in public anyway).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

10 Weeks Till Christmas: Start (or finish!) Your Gift Shopping

2009-10-19T13:28:00.001-07:00

Here's another great post from one of my favorite blogs: Simple Mom. It's hard to believe that Christmas is only 10 weeks away. And, those ten weeks are going to fly by-as usual. Before you read the article (which I hope you do-great stuff), I thought I'd share what we decided to do a couple of years ago concerning Christmas presents.

Each family is certainly different and this is not intended to make you feel bad about what you do, or make it seem that we have the best plan. This is what works for us and if it can encourage anyone out there wondering how to purge the lists and decrees the stress, I'm more than happy to share.

Two major problems come with Christmas and Christians. In the hub-bub of gift-giving we a) miss out on the true meaning of Christmas and b) add more stuff to already full houses. I can even add a third. We feed our kids and ourselves with the never-ending desire to have more. The ugly, "ALL ABOUT ME" disease rears its ugly head in the weeks, days and morning of Christmas.

First, let me paint a picture of our family situation. I live next door to my husband's brother and family and next to them is Doug's parents. My mom lived with us up until a few days ago. But, she didn't go far-only two houses down to live with Mom and Dad. We truly are a compound and I love it!! My sister and her family live only 30 minutes away. Depending on the year, we get to celebrate with Doug's sister who lives two hours away. With all this family around, we could potentially be buying gifts for 28 people! Assuming we spend $20 per gift, that's $560! AND, that means we've only purchased one gift per kid and doesn't include any friends.

I don't need to tell you that the family budget can go out the window during Christmas and I'm sure you have your own dilemma when trying to figure out what to buy and whom to buy for.

We have gone from drawing names, to buying for adults only, to homemade gifts only and the last, buying for our immediate families only. This has proven to work great in the last few years. Not only is it easier on the budget, but we can control what our kids own. And, the most important is that we can make much of Christ. When we finish opening gifts at our own home, our kids know we are heading to Grammy and Big Papa's, not to open more gifts, but to celebrate the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My desire is that our kids see the truth that God became flesh to redeem a people for His name. We felt we could do this much easier if we decreased the amount of gifts our kids received.

I will say this wasn't easy at first for some real gift-givers in our family. The solution: shower your love on birthdays. Christmas is about Jesus. Let's focus on Him. Birthdays are a day to thank God for life, so give away. For our kids, we ask that they receive no toys, only educational gifts. My kids have never been disappointed in receiving new crayons and a coloring book. Obviously, this is age-dependent, but the idea is to give them things that encourage their hobbies and talents-not fill their toy boxes.

One last thing. We also do a major purge before I even think about shopping for my kids. If they haven't played with the dollhouse, it's gone. If they are into their dolls, I'll perhaps add to their doll wardrobe. I want to teach my kids how to de-clutter and be charitable with what God had given.

Okay, to the article. I love the practical tips she provides leading up to Christmas.

Enjoy!

10 Weeks Till Christmas: Start (or finish!) Your Gift Shopping

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life=risk

2009-10-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

"If you haven't failed, you haven't lived".

Family Time

2009-10-13T23:46:00.000-07:00

After suggesting we actually spend some quality time with our kids, Doug pulls out the ultimate surprise. Camping indoors. The kids were thrilled.

The Best-Kept Secret to a Clean Home

2009-10-06T22:06:00.001-07:00

Nothing new, but a great reminder!

The Best-Kept Secret to a Clean Home

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The Authenticity of our Faith

2009-10-02T11:24:00.000-07:00

I can completely and totally relate to this video. My words said one thing, but my actions revealed the reality of my heart. The object of my faith was a prayer, a ritual and a delusional view of the christian walk. I compared myself to others, and even mimicked what they said. My heart was deceived and I was on a fast track to hell.

But, praise be to our Everlasting Father, who sought me and plucked me out of this darkness. My testimony was ripped to shreds in light of scripture. He revealed Himself to me and I crumbled under the weight of lies I was living under. I ran to the Savior.

Watch this video and evaluate what your faith is in. Is it in an idea, an action, a prayer? Are you suppressing the truth-fearful of what others might say?

Jeremiah 17:9 says our hearts are deceitful above all else and desperately sick or wicked. Don't be fooled, God will not be mocked. See God as who He is: Holy. See yourself as who you really are: destitute and full of all kinds of wickedness. Then, see the Savior: the One who lived the life we were suppose to live and received the punishment we should have received.

Amazing grace.

Celebrating a Day Early

2009-09-30T15:24:00.001-07:00

Today, my sweetie surprised me by coming in the door (with the kids) singing Happy Birthday. Here's what they carried in:
A beautiful bouquet of two dozen roses, my favorite chocolates, a balloon that Micah loves to run around the house with, two stylish umbrellas and a very sweet card (not pictured).

They smell wonderful.

When I asked why he was giving me my gifts today and not tomorrow, he said it's the only way to really surprise me. a huh. Sure.

He thought it was today. :) Okay, he wasn't sure if today was the 1st or not. So, at least he doesn't think my birthday is Sept 30. :)

Cha-Ching

2009-09-15T08:44:00.001-07:00

Here lately I've been finding hidden treasures while cleaning and purging. The first was $17.00 in a jacket pocket and the second was a $5.00 gift card to Starbucks in my junk drawer.

Well, the latest was quite the shocker. I convinced my sweetie to help me move a bookcase into the other room so I could move my love seat closer to the wood stove. As you can imagine, that takes a lot of work to remove everything off the shelves and of course force you to dust and clean them.

As Doug was dusting (something I doubt I will ever see again), he discovered a $50 bill hidden in bowl! WOW! How in the world did we hide that??? I have the slightest memory of putting it there about a year or so ago. Guess it worked to hide it.

We're going to be the old folks who hide their cash under the mattress and forget about it. :)

Man Store Etiquette

2009-09-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

Funny conversation with Lydia, my four-year-old:

L: Mommy, at the "Lady Store" I don't pick my nose.
M: Well that's good.
L: Only at the "Man Store".
M: {giggling} No, we don't pick it there, either. :)

Why we homeschool

2009-09-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

Today at Costco the gal behind the counter asked my girls if they were excited that school was starting. After receiving blank stares, she asked if they were going to school this year to which Emily replied, "We home school." I interject a little chuckle that we have already started and that they really hadn't gotten away from it. I further explained that because baby is due in late December/early January, we are trying to get ahead instead of trying to catch up.

I was surprised at the condescending tone that said, "So, your kids really haven't had a summer have they?" To that, I laughed a real hearty genuine laugh and said, "Oh, yes, they most certainly have. We just try to plug through because idle hands are no good." By this time I had my receipt in hand and that was my cue to leave.

As I walked to the truck I found I was defending myself and having an imaginary conversation with this woman. We home school because I have a desire to teach my kids. I don't hate the public school system. I certainly think it's flawed, but right now I am enjoying the freedom I have in America that says I can teach my children. And, believe me, our system is flawed too. No method is perfect.

If God calls you to enroll your children in private school, home school, public school or military school, do it to His glory, not to gain bragging rights. The Lord has really opened my eyes to my judgmental attitude that often comes with homeschooling.

Why are we here? To bring glory to God. Do that in ALL you do-including the education of your children.

So, why do we home school? Because we can! Oh, and we really believe this is what God would have us do at this time. :)

And the winner is...

2009-08-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

...Jenna Mosley! Thank you all for entering my first blog giveaway and urge each of you to pick up a copy of John Piper's book: Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ.

If you aren't savoring Him, you aren't seeing Him for who He is.

First Blog Giveaway!!

2009-08-18T17:51:00.001-07:00

I'm back from a wonderful trip to D.C. and an incredible time at Worship God. When asked what was the most significant thing I walked away with, I'm speechless. Not sure how to wrap three days of intense worship into a thought or two. I plan on reviewing my notes and maybe re-listening to some of the sermons before posting my thoughts here.

I guess one thought that has resonated with me is my lack of seeing and savoring Jesus Christ. Finding my joy in Him alone is a moment-by-moment, grace dependent endeavor.

SO, I'm breaking my blogging silence with a book giveaway!!

Leave a comment and a way to contact you for your chance to win John Piper's book: Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ.

If you link to this post through your blog, I'll enter your name for a second time. Want a third entry? Twitter or facebook this little giveaway, and there you go. A third entry.

Thanks for visiting!

I'll mail to anywhere in the U.S.

Worship God 09

2009-08-02T15:41:00.000-07:00

At approximately 6:04 am PST, I will, Lord willing, be on a flight from Portland to D.C. I will tour the area for two days before heading to the Worship God 09 conference held in Maryland. The conference runs from Wednesday through Saturday and I am very excited about this opportunity to attend.

The longest I've been away from my family is 2 nights. This is going to be a great opportunity (on both sides) to depend utterly upon our Lord. I was so blessed this afternoon at lunch when my father-in-love, mom-in-love, husband, sis-in-love (2 of them) and a bro-in-love held hands and prayed over me and the trip. I so want God to fill me and teach me and mold me during this time.

Click here for a great intro to what it will look like.

Living in a Routine

2009-07-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

We are experiencing some really hot days here in Oregon. Not typical for this time of year. As a result, we have stayed indoors mostly and that has resulted into very lazy days.

We don't have central air, but do have units that keep our home cool. I'm actually comfortable. Probably too comfortable. I keep the bedroom doors closed so the units don't have to cool more rooms than necessary and because of that, I don't want to go into by bedroom to do the much-needed laundry.

My poor children have been allowed to view way too many DVD's and I have failed to get dressed. I came across this very timely post from one of my favorite blogs: Simple Mom.

She touches on my problem. I am starting my day without focus, without purpose and more dangerously, without the Lord. I'm a wanderer in my own home.

She gives practical advice and encouragement, along with the tools to be successful.

What do you struggle with as a stay-at-home-mom? Are you lazy like me or are you a slave to your schedule? Either way, we need to remember we are to be keepers at home and tenderly teaching our children the ways of God. Only thing my kids are learning from me right now is how to be on my idol-the computer.

So, I'm logging off now and will try to salvage the rest of this day!

My words have never tasted so...expensive.

2009-07-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Who out there likes eating humble pie? Eating your words is never easy or fun. Especially when it comes with a price tag.

Let me set the stage here. We live off Hwy 26 where the posted speed is 55mph. The signs do not say speed limit, only speed. Because it doesn't say speed limit, the cops are lenient and allow the flow of traffic to be around 60-65-which is regularly.

If you've ever gotten into a conversation with me about the speed limit and my driving habits on Hwy 26, you would hear me boast and brag that I have driven by cops with my cruise control set at 69. Cops with their radar guns out have never pulled us over. (They do ticket when you reach 70 and over...but that's for another post).

Okay, so last month I was driving along my familiar route down 26 and was asking the kids where they wanted to eat lunch. I sort of noticed a cop off the side of the road, but he didn't have anyone pulled over, so I didn't slow down. Another rule here in Oregon is that if you see a cop has pulled someone over, you must move into the other lane (when one is available) or slow down. The cop didn't have anyone pulled over anymore, but had his amber lights on. I cruise by at 69. Big mistake.

Bottom line is, I was supposed to slow down when I saw his lights on. Thankfully, he did not have the red and blue going because that would have warranted a steeper penalty. And, thankfully, he only cited me for speeding and not failure to yield to a police officer.

So, needless to say, I have set my cruise control right around 60 mph and you know what? I haven't lost time. Imagine that. :)

The Shack

2009-07-10T22:46:00.001-07:00

Okay, this post is for all you book worms out there. Lately, I have been challenged in my thinking that staying away from secular (or even "christian") books might hinder gospel inroads.

I'll admit that I've avoided books because a christian icon spoke against it. Well, now I just don't have time to read. Have you seen what's in my queue? I'm barely making it through my God-edifying books, much less a book that could be somewhat controversial.

But, what do you think of the book: The Shack? I watched this video a few months ago and have been wanting to ask those of you who have read the book what your opinion is. Like I said, I don't have time to read it myself, and not sure if I will, but, if you have read it or plan on reading it, I'd like to know your thoughts on what Mark Driscoll has to say here.

My Dearly Beloved

2009-07-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

What would you think if you heard of a married couple who promised each other they would not tell anyone of their honeymoon, because of how horrible it was? You would probably wonder how long they lasted or dread to hear of their misery years later.

Well, I'm here to say that after eight years, those memories of my not-so-fun honeymoon have melted away into gratefulness and praise over the power of God.

On July 7, 2001 I made a vow to love, honor and cherish Douglas Ray Isaacson. After a whirlwind of a day, we were off to beautiful Hood River to spend a week of intimacy, joy and laughter in this quaint Oregon town. Our plans were simple. Spend the week at a Bed and Breakfast, play tennis, hike and just enjoy one another.

We did stay at a B&B, we did play tennis and we did hike. But, let me tell you, it wasn't full of romantic feelings. There was tension as we tried to figure one another out. There was anger at un-met expectations and there was fatigue from being forced to be up and dressed for breakfast by 9:00am every morning. I'm not opposed to getting up, but when you just want to sleep in and take your time, being told missing this free meal wasn't an option, makes for a grumpy new bride.

We fought about so many stupid things, but here's one that is quite comical now. Doug and I had gone up to Lost Lake on Hood River. On the way, I dozed and enjoyed some quiet time. Doug found a fruit stand on the side of the road and decided to buy some freshly picked black cherries. I hate cherries. Okay, I'll take a chocolate dipped maraschino cherry once in a while, but even then, I have my limits. So, Doug proceeds to eat the entire bag. Needless to say, his digestive system had much to say and he could barely stand himself. I was so irritated. This set the mood.

We get to the lake and decide to rent a canoe for 3 hours and venture out onto the water. Now, anyone knows that to really enjoy a canoe ride you must be on stagnant waters. This was my expectation. Lost Lake on Hood River is anything but still. In fact, I thought for sure we were going to tip. I made it clear (in a rather loud voice) that I did NOT want to get wet and I did NOT want to be in the canoe any longer. Oh, we had to at least get a picture of me with Mt. Hood in the background. I forced a fake smile then returned to speak very harshly to my dearly beloved and ordered him to turn us around immediately and get us out of this stupid contraption.

Poor Doug was probably shocked. What had he gotten himself into? All he could do was mutter out a few nervous giggles (which did not help the situation in the least) and try to get us turned around. Fifteen minutes later, we returned the boat.

As I sat waiting for him to join me for our hike around the lake, I realized how wrong I was and needed to truly ask for his forgiveness. Things were going so well. We had a real heart-to-heart. I apologized for my rotten attitude and disrespect and gently asked him to not laugh at me when I need his assurance of being there for me. It seemed to be a real success. But, then I did it. I kept going on and on and on about his shortcomings and what I needed out of him. Well, the poor man could really take no more. He said a few words, walked away and left me standing there. So, Doug hikes Lost Lake alone and I hike Lost Lake alone.

What a honeymoon. We told each other on the way out of town we were not going to tell anyone about our week.

Now, all these years later, we not only tell it, but tell it with a purpose. God has worked in our lives to show us that He created marriage for His glory and purpose. Marriage is not for our pleasure (though there is much to be enjoyed) but, to show the world a picture of Christ and His bride, the church.

I am more in love with Doug today than I was on the alter. And, I know as long as we are submitted to the changing work of God in our lives, we will live many more years growing in that love for one another.

The real solution to peacemaking is to see what the Prince of Peace did in our lives, then pray for the power to live that out with our relationships. When we see what mercy was bestowed upon us, it helps offer mercy to those around us. I know this is much easier said than done. But, I sit here testifying that nothing is too hard for God and He definitely works all things for our good and His glory.

O Praise Him

2009-06-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

I was just recently introduced to David Crowder Band. This is the only song I have heard thus far and I love it! The video is great. It's one thing to sing in your house, in your car and alone in the woods, but this...

"I will sing to the LORD, I will sing; I will make music to the LORD, the God of Israel." Judges 5:3
"I will sing to the LORD, for he is highly exalted" Exodus 15:1a
"Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name." Psalm 30:4
"that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever. " Psalm 30:12

To my rescue...

2009-06-01T18:13:00.001-07:00

My friend, Loraena, found the quote I referred to in my last blog post. As I re-read it, images came to mind at how many times I have ran away from opportunities to share the gospel because of a cultural line. This is to my shame. As a mom, I want to protect my kids (and who am I kidding, myself) from the foul language, the stench of pot smoke or the smell of neglected hygienic practices. But, is that what Christ did? Absolutely not. And, aren't they a picture of our un-regenerate state? Most definitely. Read this and tell me how you and your family are getting around cultural barriers. And, might I add, we will not teach our kids to have a love for the lost until we model it to them. Please, let me know what you do to share Christ to all people. And, if you're like me and you aren't, pray with me to have a desire to reach out to the unlovely. Praise God, He did!!

"Now that the wall is down, the servants of Christ are called to crawl over the rubble with the message of salvation. It is comfortable to stay in the sphere of people like ourselves, seeking refuge in a familiar ghetto of Christian contacts. But we cannot wait for non-Christians to cross the culture gaps, to scale the walls to get to know us well enough to see Christ’s grace in our lives...We who have experienced this grace are the ones who must climb the walls, build the bridges, and suffer the stresses of culture shock. People who know Jesus must pay the price to pierce the barriers between peoples." -Dennis E. Johnson

Losing my mind

2009-05-28T15:49:00.000-07:00

It's been said that when you become pregnant, you lose brain cells. I believe this is just an old wives' tale, and yet during pregnancy I find myself absent-minded and forgetful. Some would argue this happens outside of pregnancy for me-and I would agree.

Two things come to mind that show my loss in cognitive thinking (I'm surprised I can still recall them) =). The first was an email I sent out to the president of our youth soccer club with a question about scheduling and sent him the girls' DOB's so he would know what club they would be in. He replied back with this: BTW, are the DOBs correct ? 3-30-07 is a 2-year old; and 3-16-05 is a 4-year old. In which I replied: hahahaha...okay, I'm pregnant with our 4th child and I am seriously losing it. I then gave the correct DOB.

The other case, well, I really have no excuse. I'm just a ding dong. I have tried to reference a quote I read from our church bulletin several times now and I have goofed it up twice. And this has been pre and post pregnancy. I can't find the exact quote but the concept is that instead of the church stiff-arming the community, we need to run in, crawl over the rubble and be prepared to get a little dirty. All for the sake of proclaiming the change Christ has made in our lives in hope of growing the church. To those of you who know what quote I'm talking about, realize this is my paraphrase and interpretation.

Okay, well the problem is, the first time I referred to this quote, I was at our ladies Bible study and I said stubble instead of rubble. Funny is an understatement. I'm still chuckling out loud. That was weeks ago. Well, today, a comment made on a previous post pointed out that I wrote rumble instead of rubble. Good grief.

I think I shall move away from that word.

Day by Day by Grace

2009-05-19T08:15:00.003-07:00

Day By Day By Grace
Bob Hoekstra
May 19, 2009

The Miracle of Our Ministry

For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6)

As new covenant servants, we proclaim "the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ" (2 Corinthians 4:4). While holding forth this magnificent message, we earnestly pray that God will prepare darkened hearts to embrace the redeeming light of His grace. Each person who responds will experience a miracle more distinct than when light first shined into the darkness of creation.

On the first day of creation, the earth was in darkness. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep" (Genesis 1:1-2). The Lord spoke light into existence in that darkness. "Then God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light" (Genesis 1:3). By the word of His mouth, He caused light to shine where there had been none. What a majestic miracle!

When Jesus came to this world, light was penetrating darkness. "The people who sat in darkness saw a great light, and upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned" (Matthew 4:16). When the light of the gospel of grace is proclaimed, it is shining upon spiritually darkened hearts. "Although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened" (Romans 1:21). When darkened hearts respond to that light, they are given new life. "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life" (John 8:12).

This is what has happened to those of us who follow Christ. The God of creation, who spoke forth physical light into physical darkness, has spoken forth spiritual light into our spiritual darkness. "For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness who has shone in our hearts." This light was shining through the gospel. This good news of God's grace painted a portrait of the Lord Jesus Christ. In that portrait of words, we saw the glory of God and His great salvation. We saw by faith "the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." Now, we are called to proclaim this gospel of grace, that others also may come out of darkness into His splendid light. "You are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9).

Dear Lord of light, I praise You for bringing me out of darkness into Your gracious light. Grant me grace to proclaim Your excellencies. Shine Your light into the hearts I hope to reach. Grant them the miracle of new birth, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Jesus and the Rose

2009-05-12T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last week Doug and I started listening to Matt Chandler's sermon: A Shepherd and His Unregenerate Sheep from the Desiring God Conference '09. From the moment he started talking, I was intrigued and amused. He has a passionate love for the Lord and is a good preacher.

In his opening, he shared his background and one particular story that I want to share with you. As a young Christian, his heartbeat was to share the gospel and lovingly become intertwined in sinner's lives for the purpose of sharing God's grace and mercy. Then, he ran into an enemy: The church.

Tell me if you can relate. Not with how the church has failed to communicate truth, but how you personally have failed to handle God's word with reverent, humble, utter dependence on the Spirit to reveal that truth.

God has been doing a work in my own life, showing me how I was living by tradition and not by the simple truth of God's own word. I too, have tried to make a biblical point outside of the gospel. The results were confusing at best and left me looking like a know-it-all, unloving "religious freak".

I echo the prayer of my church that we crawl over the rubble and get into our community with one. simple. message. The gospel of Jesus Christ.

Miracle of Life

2009-05-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

One month down...

2009-05-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well, according to the pregnancy test, I am prego with baby #4. We're very excited. It's funny because Doug and I had gone back and forth, "Do we try for another? No, we're good, we're content." Well, God certainly has blessed. Ticker has been added and the countdown begins.

We covet your prayers. I will admit I'm a bit anxious. Being pregnant is okay but labor is really no fun at all. HOWEVER, I know the Lord promises good to those who love Him and I know He has a purpose in all of this. Trusting in Christ alone. :)

Fireproof in 60 Seconds

2009-04-28T18:07:00.000-07:00

edited: If you haven't seen the movie, you might not want to watch the video. It will definitely be a spoiler.

Our new family favorite movie (okay, mine and Emily's new favorite) is Fireproof. We watched it again the other night and it just brings a smile to face when Emily admits she has tears. She's such a sweetheart.

Well, if you own the DVD, you've probably seen this "extra" footage.

If you haven't seen the movie, I urge you to watch it-tonight. Make it a date-night. :)

2009-04-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

These are the books that sit on my bedside table. My sweetie said I can't buy anymore books from the church's book table until I finish reading the ones I have. Problem is, I'm no bookworm. I didn't enjoy reading when I was younger, and now that there's a desire, I have no time. Go figure.

I just started reading Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. Although the book is targeted toward teens, the message is not lost on adults. Here's how the authors introduce the idea and message.

I can't go back and change my mis-spent teenage and young adult years, but I can teach my children and the kids around me that God and I expect more than what the world expects. And we can do it together. So, it doesn't matter if you have the teen years still ahead of you or if your head hurts thinking back that far, it's never too late to do hard things for the cause of Christ and glory of God.

Of First Importance

2009-04-22T01:00:00.000-07:00

gos·pel: the message concerning Christ, the kingdom of God, and salvation
co·a·li·tion: a temporary alliance of distinct parties, persons, or states for joint action

Both of these words were copied and pasted from one of my favorite websites: Merriam-Webster dot com. I'll explain why I have chosen to write about these two words, but first, I need to expound on the definition of the gospel. Yes, it is a message concerning Christ, the kingdom of God and salvation, but it doesn't say what that message is. Simply put: Jesus Christ lived a perfect life in our place, died a painful and shameful death in our place, and rose triumphantly from the grave for those who would repent and believe in order to be reconciled to God.

See how Paul put it in 1 Corinthians 15:3-4: "For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." ~emphasis mine

And this message of good news is not exclusive to non-believers. In Romans 1, Paul longed to go to Rome and visit the believers there so he could "...preach the gospel." He was not ashamed of the Gospel because he knew it was the power of God unto salvation. This power of God is not a one-time experience. As long as I am clothed with my sinful flesh, I am in desperate need of God's power. And where does that power come from? The Gospel.

Of all the things the Apostle Paul wrote about to the early churches, the Gospel was of first importance. Don't look past these two words too quickly. That was his delight and number one message. And it's a message we need to hear and meditate on today. It wasn't the order of services or what kind of lectern was to be used. It wasn't about having drums, no drums, piano only, dresses only, KJV only, or if the vocalists could hold their mics. The most important message that was preached then, is the same important message that needs to be preached now.

Now, the second word I listed is coalition-the coming together for one unified interest. That's what the Gospel Coalition is all about. Having one heart, one focus, one common interest. This conference is in session this week in Chicago and I'm so glad the elders from my church are there with other men who want to carry on this vision: To make the Cross of Jesus Christ central in all faith and practices.

Knowing this is the heart of my church's leadership, brings a smile to my face and anticipation in my heart. What does God have in store for His people? The world needs to hear the message of hope and it's not going to come from the men behind the pulpits only. To advance the Gospel means believers need to live in its truths every moment of every day so it becomes a natural outpouring of our lives. If you were saved from a burning building, I'm sure the story would be on the tip of your tongue, waiting eagerly to be shared as you retell the excitement of your fear and your heroic rescue. If you are a believer, you know how great a salvation you have. If it's fuzzy, please stop reading the Internet and get into your Bible. And believe me, I'm preaching to myself here as well.

Glory in the Cross of your salvation and might I exhort you to join with me in examining why we do what we do. Does your faith stem from the gracious work of Jesus, or on your own works? Are you practicing to live in the Gospel? What is the center of your life? Sad to say, it's not always in my Redeemer.

Lord, please continue to do a work in me that makes me hunger and thirst after righteousness and the God of my salvation.

~Last plug for the Gospel Coalition. I thought the video that introduced the heart behind the conference was very good. Here are men from different congregations, denominations and backgrounds setting secondary issues aside to focus on what is "...of first importance...": the Gospel.

Four-twenty

2009-04-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

"4:20 or 4/20 (pronounced four-twenty) refers to consumption of cannabis and, by extension, a way to identify oneself with cannabis drug subculture." Wikipedia

Prior to the summer of 2000, I would have been a part of this celebration. I would go out of my way to find someone, anyone, who liked to get high and then have a gay ol' time wasting away into an oblivion of muddy thoughts and un-clear thinking.

Now, almost nine years later, I no longer think of getting high, but have a different reason to smile on this day. You see, today marks the one-year anniversary of my baptism. God had captured my heart in the summer of 2000, but it wasn't until about a year ago that I really recognized it. Continue reading and you'll see why. This was my testimony I read at my baptism on 4/20/08:

When I have shared my testimony in the past, I would say something to the effect that I became a Christian at a young age (about 8 years old) because I had an emotional reaction to a traveling evangelist and prayed the sinner’s prayer for Jesus to come into my heart and forgive my sins. I memorized scripture, prayed and went to church.

But as a teenager, I “walked away from the Lord” and didn’t really live for Him. I would go on to say that during my “backslidden” state I lived according to my flesh and not after the Spirit. Then at age 24, I “got my heart right with God.” I’d plug myself into stories like the prodigal son and the lost sheep returning to the fold and yet was missing the reality that I was not “coming back” to anything.

This truth came to me recently. About a month ago, I had a strong desire to share my testimony. I was so excited and enthusiastically “volunteered to the Lord” waiting for the door to open. Now I understand that it was the Spirit of God showing me I needed to evaluate my testimony and hold it in light of scripture.

The Bible makes it clear that when salvation comes we are passed from death to life (Romans 6). We go from slaves to sin to slaves of righteousness (Romans 6). The chains come off as we have been purchased by the precious blood of Christ (Romans 5) and are bound to Him (John 10:28,29). Nothing can separate us from the love of God and we love Him because He first loved us (Romans 8:39, 1 John 4:19). Old things are passed away and all things become new (2 Corinthians 5:17). He chose us by His grace and we had nothing to add to this equation (Ephesians 2:8,9).

Suddenly, I saw that my testimony had a huge flaw. While I can claim all the above statements now, I could not say that of myself before the summer of 2000. The fruit I was bearing was that of an unregenerate heart (Matthew 7:16, 20). I hated the things of the Lord. I loved my sin and worldly lifestyle. I didn’t desire to live for Him.

This has been a startling realization. How arrogant of me to say that I walked away from God and then came back to him-as if I could come and go in my service to Him; even though I remembered that time and place of saying a prayer. I guess I wanted to say that I’d been a “Christian” for X number of years, as if that would earn me some sort of plague on the proverbial wall of heaven or receive approving head nods from the Christian community.

I can now testify without any doubt or misconstrued views of God that He saved me! Jesus bore MY wrath so I could live for HIS glory (Romans 5:9,11, Romans 3:25, 1 John 2:2, 1 John 4:10). He gave me a new heart, new desires, a new purpose. So it’s not a question of do you know the time and place but when did God change your heart? I’ve been changed and I had nothing to do with it.

Getting baptized today is an outward sign of an inward cleansing and who cares that it’s 8 years later.

Looking back on this testimony, I realize a lot more can be said. I'd like to create an on-going story, and this is a good place to start.

I praise God for His work in my life through His Spirit as I'm pointed back to my Savior.

Glory to God in the highest!

How Deep

2009-04-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

It's hard to think of celebration and death in the same sentence. When remembering one who has past away, it might be said the funeral will be the time to celebrate their life but with great heartache to be sure. Grieving a loved one or friend who has passed is never easy. I remember crying so hard when my dad past away, I didn't think I could cry anymore. Then I would.

But, let me turn your attention away from sadness and grief of a loved one and turn your attention to the One who died, suffered and endured shame for His people. Tonight at our Good Friday service at church, we were reminded that we should remember Christ's broken body and shed blood with joy. If Christ had not come, we would be lost forever-banished from God, spending an eternity under His righteous wrath.

But, praise be to God that Jesus absorbed the waves of wrath on the Cross so we could go free. The lyrics I'm about to share with you were taken from The Valley of Vision: A collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions and causes me to humbly rejoice at all that Jesus has done so that I might live.

How Deep
You were broken that I might be healed
You were cast off that I might draw near
You were thirsty that I might come drink
Cried out in anguish that I might sing

How deep is Your love
How high and how wide is Your mercy
How deep is Your grace
Our hearts overflow with praise
To You

You knew darkness that I might know light
Wept great tears that mine might be dried
Stripped of glory that I might be clothed
Crushed by Your Father to call me Your own
~Sovereign Grace Music, Valley of Vision album

As the weekend plugs along, don't miss the extraordinary message of the resurrection. Join with me in meditating on these words of life: "And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins." 1 Corinthians 15:17

He is risen, He is risen indeed!

2009-04-09T19:31:00.000-07:00

The last time I had a Jehovah Witness at my door was after I had either Lydia or Micah. I had been home only days and was in no mood to talk. That was either two or four years ago. Living in the country really cuts down on the door-to-door calls we used to get in the neighborhood.

Have you ever experienced the panic, don't-know-what-I'd-say feeling when anticipating these knocks on your door? I sure have. But, this day, I was excited when I saw I had a J.W. on my porch. I stepped outside without any hesitation. I knew what I believed and I knew I knew my God. Personally. All through the redemptive work of Jesus, my Lord and Savior. And, I have the Spirit of the living God abiding in me. Bring it. :)

So, here we stand with smiles, convictions, scripture, and passion. Neither is budging. It was peaceful to know I could defend my faith but heartbreaking to see that here two women stand so sure they are right, but someone HAS to be wrong-and it wasn't me.

That sent me on a self-searching journey. Why isn't it me? How do I know I have eternal life? Because I know my God. He is a Triune God, Creator of all and I have sinned against Him. I deserve His justice-eternal separation and an eternity of punishment. I know His incredible love for me. Instead of leaving me in my desperate state, He poured His wrath on His only Son-my Savior, Jesus Christ.

So, she left content for us to be in disagreement and I shut my door with a heavy heart. Oh, that her eyes would be opened as were mine.

Why do I know truth? Because of undeserving GRACE.

Thank you, Lord.

After these encounters, it's so easy to self-evaluate and wish this and that would have been said. Scripture came to mind after she had gone. This keeps me humble that I need to commit God's word to memory and to plead for the work of the Holy Spirit to bring it to my mouth.

2009-03-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

This is my third time listening to this message. Entire message is timely for Christians in America.

Character First or Christ First?

2009-03-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

Wanting your kids to have good character is not a bad thing. In fact, I pursued this approach when I thought about raising Emily. But if this is the main focus, the danger in that is the focus is on external behavior and attitudes, and not on the most important target-the heart. Sure, I want my kids to learn dependability, courage, truthfulness, kindness, etiquette, joyfulness, hard work, perseverance, self-control, gentleness, forgiveness, honesty, loyalty, orderliness, serving, responsibility, determination, initiative, decisiveness, and more.

But, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WANT MY KIDS TO LEARN IS THIS: they have a wicked heart, deceitful above all things and they are full of sin, desirous to live a life completely opposite of these character qualities. And, that sin of selfish rebellion is deserving of God's righteous wrath. Not a popular thing to bring before your kids. We're tempted to tell them stories of Daniel in the lion's den and dare them to be a Daniel-drawing on strength from God. Or the courage of David, as he faced Goliath and had faith in God. Ruth is seen as the loyal daughter-in-law that was blessed as an apparent reward for her faithfulness and determination. But these stories make the wrong person the hero.

The best thing I have learned is to see God's Word as a complete story, not a bunch of moral lessons grouped together. But, one story about One Person. One Savior. The only thing we can relate to in these stories is the complete helplessness, sinful, alienated state we find our characters in. But God, being rich in mercy has saved us in Jesus Christ.

Every story points to Christ. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He is what reconciles us to our Creator. He is the author and finisher of our faith. The gospel must be God-centered, not man-centered.

And, if God so chooses to open our little ones' eyes, they will learn through the sanctification process to become humble, meek, and loving-you know, all those character qualities we listed above.

This is a much easier process. Live a gospel-centered life, always pointing your kids to the cross and the outward will reflect on the inward transformation. But, beware. If you focus primarily on outward actions, you run a high risk of creating one good bluffer. And what a dangerous place to be-to not know your child's heart.

Lord bless you as you raise your little ones.

Oh, and in no way have I mastered this!! :)

Wheatgrass-Really?

2009-03-14T16:09:00.000-07:00

When trials come in your own life or in the life of someone you care about, have you fallen victim to offer help and advice though well-meaning, is really not helpful at all? I sure have. The clip below is a comical look at a serious downfall in the Christian community and one I've been guilty of myself. Oh, I haven't used wheatgrass, but other "pet" remedies. The follow-up clip says it all. And then, the third video is the full sermon. Rejoice in trials. For a believer, this is as bad as it will ever get. We have the hope of eternal life where we will be free from the presence of sin!

Unintentional Break

2009-03-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've been inspired to write anything and I'm thinking this isn't the first time I've said this. There do seem to be a thousand things swirling through my brain, though.

One thing I've really enjoyed lately is listening to Mark Driscoll's sermon series on 1 & 2 Peter. Check it out here.

I'm slowly making my way through four different books: Practical Theology for Women, Seeing & Savoring Jesus Christ, A Gospel Primer and The Beatitudes. All are not large books and easy to read. But, there is a lot of biblical truth in them that I often find myself unable to move on until I have really pondered what I just read.

That leads me to say I have really been slack on meditating and studying God's Word. I long for the day when I will just sit at Jesus' feet and see the fullness of God's beauty face-to-face and my lazy, sinful self will be done away with.

But perseverance is a rewarding thing. My children remind me of my need to know the Word of God. My imperfect husband reminds me of the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. And, my own sinful heart reminds me of my inability to change. Therefore, I will continue to savor Christ, read and drink of His Word and learn as much as I can this side of eternity.

Locks of Love

2009-03-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

Keeping it Real

2009-02-23T17:25:00.000-08:00

Little Man in Training

2009-02-21T15:11:00.000-08:00

My little Micah is growing up so fast. He will be two in less than two months. Every parent will agree that the time goes by so quickly and it literally seems that one day we turn around and we're asking ourselves, "Where did my baby go?" For that reason, I am so thankful for the technology we have to document these precious moments of seeing them change, grow and explore new things.

Here's Micah shooting his first gun. Okay, I realize it's not technically his first time "shooting", but he's well on his way.

We're serious about safety. :)

Doug has been working away at removing tree stumps and there is one that's not making it easy on him. Micah enjoys sitting in the tractor as Papa hacks away at the stubborn roots. Apparently, this day proved to be too much.

I've heard it said often, "Enjoy your kids while you can, you don't know how long you will have them."

Go out and enjoy your treasures from God.

Can I have a re-do?

2009-02-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

Our church is moving into a new area of ministry of creating and maintaining small groups. The idea is for us to get to know one another, encourage one another, pray for one another and in the end, build strong relationships where we will be able to hold one another accountable and therefore, run the race set before us as we await the coming of our Lord and King.

This Sunday night I was asked to participate in a panel to demonstrate what small groups will look like. After watching the DVD segment as a congregation, eight of us moved onto the platform to answer a series of questions. Coming up with answers on the spot can be challenging-especially in front of an audience. My notes and pre-conceived ideas of how I would answer did not help me.

Of the many questions asked, the first one still haunts me. The question: "How have we received or given bad counsel that makes us question the promises of God"? My answer: "I don't remember ever giving or receiving bad counsel but I do battle questioning God's promise that He will not withhold any good thing from me..."

Now that time has passed, I can think of a hundred different times I have received and given bad counsel. You see, life is all about counseling. It's in the way we live that we are counseling those around us. People don't live based on the facts of their experiences, but rather by the way they interpret those experiences. Our lives are shaped by those interpretations and we desperately need God's counsel to clarify and speak truth.

In the garden, Adam and Eve heard two counselors. Satan took the same facts God spoke to them, but gave a different interpretation. This battle continues today. So, every time I watch a movie that glorifies sin, and I don't grieve over that entertainment, I am listening to bad counsel. Wonder why there is so much confusion out there? It's because there are thousands of voices that are interpreting messages that shape our hearts.

Every sitcom we laugh at, every book we read and every lyric we jam to will shape our hearts. So, the question remains. When have I received or given bad counsel? When I fail to see (then ultimately show) that I was created to worship God and am dependant on Him. I want to hate the things God hates and love the things God loves.

Each time I live for myself and show that I don't need God to direct me, I'm not believing Christ when He said, "Without me you can do nothing".

Counsel is important. It's never neutral because advice gives moral shape. How are you shaping your heart and the hearts around you?

What is Love?

2009-02-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

"By this we know love, that He (Jesus Christ) laid down His life for us..." 1 John 3:16

"But God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are..." 1 John 3:1

I don't know my Bible...

2009-02-04T22:30:00.000-08:00

...and that really bothers me. Part of it is because I'm not in it enough. In my other Bible, I have highlights, underlined phrases and notes in the margins that helped cement the Word in my heart. By doing that, I could easily locate a verse. But, I've been utilizing Bible Gateway so much, that I'm losing the feel of knowing where to flip in my Bible to a familiar passage.

I've been using The Reformation Study Bible ESV for about a year and a half and I LOVE it but the words of Christ aren't in red and that's actually a big help to me. This is another reason I feel distant from my beloved Bible.

So, I think I'm going to endeavor to go through with a red pencil and underline all of Christ's words. Won't that be an enlightening exercise?

Day by Day by Grace by Bob Hoekstra

2009-01-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

Truths that spoke to my heart this morning:

Day By Day By Grace Bob Hoekstra January 22, 2009 The New and Living Way

Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us. (Hebrews 10:19-20)

Here, life under the new covenant of grace is described as the "new and living way." This could be contrasted with the "old and dying way" of attempting to live under the old covenant of law. The "newness" of grace is not really a matter of time sequence, because the grace of God actually precedes the law in man's history with God. The "tree of life" in the garden of Eden was God's provision of grace for Adam and Eve. The promises of God to Abraham, given hundreds of years before the law, depended upon the faithful grace of God, not the legal performance of Abraham.

The "newness" of grace is its every day freshness and vitality. Day by day, by the grace of God, fresh measures of life are abundantly available to those who look to the Lord as their supply. This makes life with God fresh and new every day.

Under the old covenant, only one person, the High Priest, could enter into the intimate presence of God, the Holy of Holies. Furthermore, this was only allowed one day a year. Such limited access would certainly "get old" in the hearts of all who hungered after the living God.

Now, under the new covenant of grace, every believer in Jesus, our great High Priest, can confidently approach the Lord personally any moment of every day. "Having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus." Through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, which forgives all of our sins, we can speak to the Lord and enjoy His presence in our lives continually.

Jeremiah gave some early insight into this kind of fresh and vital relationship with God. "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore I hope in Him!'" (Lamentations 3:22-24).

The Apostle Paul wrote profoundly concerning such "newness." "But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter" (Romans 7:6). This the "new and living way." This will never "get old."

O Lord of Life, my heart yearns for this new and living way. O, how I long to dwell in Your presence day by day! Lord, I must confess that every attempt to base intimacy with You on my best performance has always become so old and dying, so stale and lifeless. My soul is stirred with hope in You that You have provided this better way. O Lord, teach me to walk by this new and living way, in the name of Jesus, my great High Priest, Amen.

Rules

2009-01-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

At the end of the message this past Sunday morning, we heard a very timely reminder that we as parents need to be aware of our children at all times while at church. I sat convicted as I have been too relaxed at times and have allowed my children to run in church. Once, my youngest had made it out the front doors and was brought back into me by another church member.

At lunch, we took the advice of our elder to talk with our children and remind them about the rules we have concerning church behavior. I felt it was profitable.

On the way home I overheard Emily telling Lydia some rules:

Emily to Lydia: "Don't let go. You can't run into someone. And Mommy, there's one more."
Me: "You can't run outside." (I assumed she knew I meant no more running by the front doors).
Emily: "No, Mommy, I'm telling her the rules of flying a kite."

Oy.

Well, not all was lost because the girls told Nana that they aren't allowed to run in church when she asked them what they learned in church.

Sharing the Gospel in a Most Humble Way

2009-01-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday, I found myself in an embarrassing situation. It started when I decided to get the girls' hair cut.

Pigtails and Crewcuts is a children's salon I spotted several months ago while sitting in the parking lot waiting for my sweetie to return from R.E.I. When the time came for Emily and Lydia to get their hair cut, I was excited to take the girls in to this establishment. Everything about it seemed a perfect way to treat my girlies. Mommy and daughter time. Oh, and Nana time, she was with us. A girl's day out.

So, I call to make an appointment and was told they don't make appointments but if I call on my way in, she'll put our names on the list. Okay, this sounds great. I call when I am ten minutes out and get on the list.

Before coming in, I had shown pictures of other locations to Emily and Lydia and so they are excited too. The idea of getting to sit in your choice of vehicle and watch a movie while you get your hair cut was too cool!

Here we go hand-in-hand off to have some fun at Pigtails and Crewcuts. Even the name puts a smile on my face. That smile soon turned to pursed lips soon after walking through the doors. As we enter, I am met with a forced smile from the receptionist and have a clipboard shoved at me informing me I need to fill this out. So, I do. No thank you when I hand it back and no indication that someone will be with us soon. My biggest disappointment here is that my kids weren't greeted.

There were two stylists, both busy. One was finishing up and the other maybe about half-way through. We sit and wait. And wait. And wait. When the first stylist had finished, I notice she disappears. Hair is still on the floor from her client and there's no sign of her. Anywhere. The receptionist then leaves and I notice her down the hall and out back smoking. Nice. I sure hope she doesn't bring that breath in to my children. Thankfully, she's only the receptionist. Well, moving on.

By this time the second stylist has finished and I have waited over 15 minutes without one person talking to me. Oh, except the friendly clientele. In the meantime, the receptionist has cleaned the first station and does a good job putting things back in place and wiping things down. Then, I get the shocking question, in an I'd-rather-be-somewhere-else-tone, Okay, who's going to be first? Oh, nuh-uh. We did not just sit here for a very long time being ignored to have my girls go one at a time causing an even greater delay in my day. "We are on a time schedule. I was under the impression both of my girls could get their hair done at the same time," I say. "Well, the other stylist is on break," she says. HELLO!! Could she not have told me that when she walked away? Wouldn't it have been nice to say, "Thanks for waiting, she'll be with you in a moment." To say I was irritated is an understatement. I'm big on customer service. My wait time can be tolerated if you just smile and let me know what's going on.

This is when my flesh and all my warm fuzzy expectations that just got squashed take control. The gal on break comes out after hearing me complain to the others that I have waited a long time and I thought the girls could go together. When she comes out, I hear in a rather fake, forced voice, "Oh, look, here she is now." No way am I going to be the cause of this poor woman missing her much needed break. I've worked retail. I understand the need to step away. I do not hesitate to tell them that from the moment I walked in I felt as if we had interrupted a private party and that I was not impressed with their customer service. I waited too long and we were not staying. I take my children and we leave. All the way to the car I'm getting, "Mommy, how come we're not staying?" I reply sharply, "Because those women weren't very nice."

Huh. Who's not being very nice here? All of a sudden I have a wave of convicting thoughts. Look at how you have just behaved, I hear. I must go back in and apologize to those women. My mom says she is going to wait in the car so it's me and my girls. I take a deep breath, ask the Lord for wisdom and enter back into the salon where the three ladies were chatting and I genuinely apologize for my behavior. I should not have gotten so upset and been so rude but most importantly I tell them, "I am a Christian and what I did was not glorifying or honoring to God and that's what my life is about." Silence.

I then ask if they would please cut my daughters' hair? They smiled and said they'd be happy to. Smiles were still forced and I'm not sure they enjoy their jobs but when they finished (both girls got to go together), I thank them and apologized once more. One tells me it's fine, we all have our days. To that I replied, "It's just a reminder to me at how imperfect I really am and how grateful I am to Jesus Christ who took my punishment on the cross." To the receptionist I also apologize and she says it was just a misunderstanding. To her I say again, "I'm reminded at how I mess up and need the work of Jesus Christ."

This is not my ideal way of showing my faith but boy, is it the most honest real way. Yesterday, it was a great day to be in the house of the Lord. The message reminded me that the gospel of Jesus Christ is unstoppable because Jesus is alive and working. The gospel is spread abroad by the working of the Holy Spirit through His people. I don't want the ladies of that salon or you, the reader, to see a woman who had a case of guilty conscience and did a good thing by coming back in. On the contrary. I want them and you to see a hopeless sinner who serves a mighty God. I hope they are curious about this person mentioned, Jesus Christ and ask themselves, what does it mean that He took the punishment. I can only trust in the working of the Holy Spirit to take my fumbling words and open hearts as He so chooses.

I will be back to Pigtails and Crewcuts and hope to always bring in the light of Christ and the Love of God.

2009-01-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

It had been years since I ventured out on Black Friday. I'll admit there was a little bit of excitement at the thought of getting good deals on my Christmas gifts so this past Thanksgiving weekend, my sister-in-law and I got up early and headed in to mingle with the other crazy holiday shoppers.

The story I'm about to share is not so much about shopping but about cancelled debt. But first some groundwork. Okay, Becky and I go into Macy's as I want to buy my sweetie a dress coat. Well, I found one. A really nice one. The price tag? $350.00. Ouch. That's definitely not in my budget. Then I see a sign that says 50% off. Okay, a little better. Then another sign. Take an additional 10% off if you open a Macy's credit card. And an additional 15% for using your card on this particular day. Alright, I might be able to do this. Now, let me interject here that Doug and I are on a debt-free path. We don't use credit cards. If you look in our wallets you'll find a debit card, Costco card and a library card. Well, at least in mine. Doug is allergic to books. Okay, and a Taco Del Mar punch card but I'm getting off track. Point is, we use cash for everything and on one other occasion, I opened a store credit account to receive the introductory savings and had it paid off before the bill came in the mail. That's who we are.

Well, that's who I am now. But it wasn't always that way and that brings me back to my story. So, here I am with a handsome new black dress coat for my best friend for Christmas. I cheerfully lay down my purchase at the register and am greeted by and even cheerier cashier and I tell her I would like to apply for the Macy's store credit card. We smile our way through the process and I listen to how crazy it had been earlier in the morning as we await the results and get an approval code. My smile soon faded as I find out that I was denied credit. Excuse me. What? How can I be denied? I know this isn't a case of no credit looks like bad credit because I have open credit cards with zero balances. But, not too many that I look like a liability. I knew how the credit process worked, I was in banking for six years. This doesn't make me an expert but I was definitely taken aback by the discouraging news. Well, the still smiling cashier rummages through her pile of newspapers and finds a coupon that grants me a 10% savings so I can still buy the coat. Thank you, cheery Macy's worker.

Now, I'm on a mission to find out why I was denied. Actually, I forgot about it until the letter came that said, you recently applied for credit...blah, blah, blah...you were denied...blah, blah, blah...here's the number you can call to find out why you're such a loser. LOL. Okay, I dial the number and find out that back in 1994 I had a charge of $159 and some change on a Meier and Frank card and the last payment received was in 1995. Oh yes, back in 1994. I had graduated from High School and went crazy with credit. I wasn't surprised at the charge, I was surprised it was still showing up. This debt shouldn't be there. I seriously thought I had covered all my past debts, including the ones that went to collection agencies, in the summer of 1999 when I was graciously given a debt consolidation loan from my employer at the time, South Umpqua Bank. How did we miss Meier and Frank. And what about the seven year rule? Or even the ten year rule? Apparently, those rules don't apply to Meier and Frank, now known at Macy's. The debt is not active, meaning they aren't trying to collect on it, but as long as it shows on their record, I can't get a credit account. Ever.

This made me think about my debt to Creator God. My sin is an offense to His Holy nature. I deserve to be punished forever in a literal lake of fire because of my rebellion and hatred to His law. I was dead in my sins. I owed a debt that I couldn't pay. Even an eternity in hell wouldn't satisfy God's demand for righteousness.

Oh, but praise be to God almighty that He plucked me out of my hopeless state. Glory to God that Jesus Christ became the One who paid a debt He didn't owe on my behalf. Colossians 2:13-14 soothes the weary soul. And you, who were dead in your trespasses...God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with it's legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross. Hallelujah! And Psalm 103:12, As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.

My sin is no longer on the record books. Even when I continue to sin! Jesus paid it all. I will never be denied my access to God. I will never receive a letter that reminds me of my mistakes and sin. Jesus Christ redeemed me. He purchased my life with His own. He died so that I could go free. Oh, the unexplainable joy and gratitude that fills my heart. No wonder we will have an eternity to praise the Lamb.

One last thought. I heard this from John MacArthur. He said, "Folks may admit they aren't perfect. But what they need to see is the sin in their good." Nothing we do on our own will merit favor with God. What are you trusting in? Unless you see yourself as a broken sinner running as fast as you can toward destruction, in need of a Savior, the wrath of God still abides on you. John 3:36, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."

Come to the One who absorbed that wrath and claim the promise, "For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 5:9

2008-12-31T23:36:00.000-08:00

In roughly twenty minutes from now a new year will begin and I'm not really sure what to think about it. I'm not the one to make new year's resolutions because I know I can't/won't/don't know how to keep them. I can say there's a desire to do things differently, but what does a new year mean? Aren't we just plugging along one day at a time?

To make sure I'm not setting a negative tone here, let me explain that while I'm excited to see another year come, I want to make sure my sights don't go too far out. If I don't hone in on what's right in front of me, I become discouraged and downhearted at my inability to change.

And that's just the point. I cannot change. If anything, I have the capability, to some degree, to regress. My sinful heart isn't going anywhere. Or is it? The Bible tells me that as a believer, I am being changed from one degree of glory to another. I am being transformed into the image of Christ. To feel the mighty hand of God lovingly putting godly pressure on my sin and then lifting me up to the highest peaks of overwhelming joy, is definitely something to get excited about.

Tonight Doug said something in his prayer that I hope will be an encouragement to you. Here's my interpretation: "Lord, we're not going to look back (at the year 2008) and focus on our failures, nor are we going to live in our successes."

May I be quick to repent, in a hurry to obey and always looking at each day as a gift from the One who made me to bring Him glory and enjoy Him forever.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Songs

2008-12-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

I just read Unmeasured Grace: Annoying Christmas Songs.

This post was funny and so true. There are certain Christmas, or should I say Holiday songs (because they have nothing to do with Christ) out there that make you want to scream if you hear them one. more. time. Thankfully there are wonderful Christ-exalting songs out there and we are not restricted to hearing only mediocre, fluff.

Because of weather, Sunday services were re-scheduled for Saturday. We missed both due to snow up here. Yesterday, we were at Mom and Dad's for worship and no matter how many times I hear certain songs, my heart rejoices at the gospel message within them. Some of my favorites:

Hark, the Herald Angels Sing

"Glory to the newborn King: Peace on earth, and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled...Veiled in flesh the Godhead see; Hail the incarnate Deity, Pleased as man with men to dwell, Jesus, our Emmanuel."

Joy to the World

"...the Lord is come; Let earth receive her King...the Savior reigns...no more let sins and sorrows grow...He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found...He rules the world with truth and grace and makes the nations prove the glories of His righteousness and wonders of His love."

Christ the Lord is Born Today off Savior: Celebrating the Mystery of God Become Man by Sovereign Grace Ministry

How my happy heart rejoices
I can hear the angel voices
"Christ is born" they all are singing
From the sky this good news bringing
Let the earth rejoice
O come and lift your voices
Christ the Lord is born today
He came from heaven's throne
God is born a man today
To bring His children home
To bring His children home
Death and darkness surely tremble
Light has come to all the people
The Lion comes to crush the serpent
He comes a Lamb, a lowly servant
Let the earth rejoice
O come and lift your voices
God has sent His greatest treasure
Shown His love in greatest measure
Sending Christ to bleed and suffer
Purchasing our joy forever
Let the earth rejoice
O come and lift your voices

There are so many more. Each year I seem to marvel anew at God's redeeming plan.

...the self-sufficient shall be sent empty away.

2008-12-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

Even Mary, the mother of Jesus, saw her need for a Savior. Luke 1:46-47 and verse 49 records this: "And Mary said, my soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,..for He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name."

If anyone had room to boast, Mary would be one of them. Read how it's recorded in the Bible: "...the angel Gabriel was sent forth from God...to a virgin...Mary. And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you...Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High...therefore the child to be born will be called holy-the Son of God.'"

But Mary didn't boast in herself because God opened her eyes to see her need for Him. Here's an excerpt of a commentary found on Bible Gateway of Mary's "Song of Praise."

Mary, animated by Elisabeth's address, and being also under the influence of the Holy Ghost, broke out into joy, admiration, and gratitude. She knew herself to be a sinner who needed a Saviour, and that she could no otherwise rejoice in God than as interested in his salvation through the promised Messiah. Those who see their need of Christ, and are desirous of righteousness and life in him, he fills with good things, with the best things; and they are abundantly satisfied with the blessings he gives.

He will satisfy the desires of the poor in spirit who long for spiritual blessings,

while the self-sufficient shall be sent empty away. (emphasis mine)

Lord, keep me from losing sight of your redeeming plan. Thank you for correcting me when I behave self-sufficiently. Burn in me a desire above all others to live a life in you, through you and wholly dependant upon you.

Three for Thursday

2008-12-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

Three topics for today:

Tell people you love Jesus:

These words prompted me to take Desiring God up on an incredible offer to purchase 48 copies of John Piper's book: Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ at a buck a piece plus $20.00 shipping so I can share with others why we celebrate this time of year.

Each year I think most Christians (should be all) want to help their friends and family members not lose sight of the truth behind Christmas. It's all about Jesus. But if you're like me, finding a creative, inexpensive way to do that is, well, challenging.

From the back of the book it says, "John Piper has written this book in the hope that all will see Jesus for who he really is and will come to enjoy him above all else." This really struck a chord on my heart strings. Oh, how I want to have everyone taste and see that the Lord is good.

Even for my own heart I desire to have fresh ammo for my proverbial tool belt that can be used when I doubt, sin, and lose faith. Another quote from the book: "If you don't savor Christ, you haven't seen Christ for who he is." WOW! Do my actions, deeds and words show my children, my neighbors, the world that I'm savoring Christ above all else because I see him? I can see him without really seeing him. I want my spiritual eyes to be opened so that when I savor him, I know I've seen him.

This year, I'll be handing out these books. Maybe I'll have a blog giveaway. So, one of you lucky six people have the chance of getting this great little book. :o)

No matter how you say Merry Christmas this year, do it with passion, boldness and truth.

Earning the right

I am not a good time manager. I try to be organized but I'm lazy. I want to read the Word daily and with purpose but the computer draws me away. These are the reasons I got off Facebook a year or so ago. I would get wrapped up in the Wall, throwing sheep, photos, comments and who is friends with whom. It's so addicting.

Well, in this little break I've realized that getting organized isn't a laborious chore, it's a joyful exercise. Don't get me wrong, it is work but it's the kind of work that has great rewards. Now, let me just say right now that I am certainly no organizing junkie or perfect mom who has it all together. I still waste time and battle laziness. But it's getting easier to recognize it and do something about it.

I can see the working of the Holy Spirit in my life that gently prompts me to yearn more for God than for GMail and blogs. So, what works for me is to "earn the right" to be on the computer. Have I seen what God has to say to me before I run to see who has the funniest status? Have I managed my family before staring at my laptop?

My goal, through the work of the Spirit, is to always sit at Jesus' feet before going to Internet. All are welcome to ask me if I've been in the Word first when you see me online. And if you are reading this before you have opened the Words of Life, may I kindly suggest you turn the computer off and go taste and see that the Lord is good?

One last comment. I'm not sure how long I'll stay on Facebook. The advertisements in the sidebar really aren't the most glorifying to God, are they?

Looking our best

One of my favorite blogs is Simple Mom dot net. She's a minimalist who shares ideas on frugality, organization and great mom tips. Here's a recent post that has some practical, tangible ways to looking our best. These aren't shallow, high-fashion tips straight from the NY runway, but easy-to-do and helpful when we moms don't feel our best. Check it out: http://simplemom.net/10-tips-for-looking-your-best/.

Life of Praise

2008-12-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

I will love You, Lord always

Not just for the things You've done for me

And I will praise You all my days

Not just for the change You've made in me

But I'll praise You for You are holy, Lord

And I'll lift my hands, but You are worthy of so much more

For You are awesome, God of the Nations,

Lion of Judah, Rock of the Ages,

Alpha, Omega

You're worthy of all praise

More than these hands I'll raise

I'll live a life of praise I'll live a life of praise

I will serve You, Lord always, for You are my strength

When I am weak I will never be afraid for

You are my rock and You protect me

But I'll praise You for You are holy, Lord

And I'll lift my hands, but You are worthy of so much more

Casting Crowns Self-titled Album 2004

Hustling Around

2008-11-24T16:49:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday I went to the mall, something I rarely do, and was amazed at how many cars were in the parking lot. It was a madhouse. It really shouldn't have surprised me because we're just over a month away from Christmas. 5 Saturdays to be exact. Actually, we're now down to 4.

My friend, Katherine, was impressed with my parking abilities in that I managed to park in a compact spot (unmarked, mind you-I wouldn't have parked there if it had been marked) and we didn't get any scrapes on the cars beside us and saw no dings on our doors when we returned. Hey, at least I wasn't the ding-dong who double parked. We fit. Barely. :o)

Today I went to Costco and by 11:00am, it looked like a Saturday afternoon. The parking lot was packed and the aisles were busy. It kind of made me smile to be out on a sunny autumn day with fellow holiday shoppers. Today there were smiles all around and no one was crabby or vying for the last four-pack of Sparkling Cider. I wonder what it will be like on Wednesday.

If you have to go out, be the nice happy face that reminds people of why we celebrate this time of year. And when you find yourself frustrated at all the people and the lines, remember you're a contributing factor to the length of the line and a another body to be dealt with.

Show some holiday cheer this year and don't let Jesus get lost in this season.

Huh. Imagine That.

2008-11-19T22:38:00.001-08:00

Spills, like, oh I don't know, spaghetti sauce for example, clean up much easier if you clean the mess before it hardens and sticks to your counter.

Can anyone say lazy?

It's clean now but I think it will take some time for my fingers to regain their natural dexterous skills.

It's a Parent Thing

2008-11-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today, well, more like this evening, Emily lost her first tooth! Let me start by saying that when we discovered the wiggly tooth I was not thrilled. In fact my tummy sort of did a weird cramp, flop thing. I don't do blood so thoughts of my childhood came to mind and all I can remember is blood and the anxiety of it all. But, God's grace is sufficient and yes, I do praise Him for what seems to be small and to some, not that big of a deal. If you are a parent, I trust you got (or will get) as excited as I did when you saw the time had come for your baby to lose her/his first tooth.

We were dining with our friends, the Nelson's, and I heard the familiar groan from Emily that told me she had forgotten about her tooth and bit into food with it. This happens a lot. But this time I saw the thing pushed out toward me and I knew it was time to come out. Surprisingly, I didn't freak out-probably because I was at someone else's home. I took a napkin on the advice of Chuck (father of 4 teenage girls) and gave it a gentle tug. It was so easy and painless. And very little blood. Everyone around the table gave a hearty cheer and kept telling Emily how great it was. She was thrilled.

So, we had to come home and document this momentous occasion with pictures, magnets and cute ceramic boxes. All are below. Hope you enjoy this very joyous parent moment with me. My baby is growing up. :o)

Isn't she cute? :D

This picture is going to bug me because November is crooked. And we didn't move our K4T magnet. :o/

This little box was a baby gift from Emily's baby shower. It was fun to bring out.

Unmeasured Grace: Book Giveaway! - Heirs with Christ: The Puritans on Adoption

2008-11-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

Unmeasured Grace: Book Giveaway! - Heirs with Christ: The Puritans on Adoption

My friend, Loraena, at Unmeasured Grace is giving away a brand new book: Heirs With Christ: Puritans on Adoption. Click here to see the table of contents and chapter one of the book. This book is intriguing to me because when I struggle with sin or struggling to find joy I need to be reminded that I am in the family of God. I am an heir with Christ! There is no condemnation. There is no more wrath. Bask in the glory of that. So, go check out Unmeasured Grace and enter the drawing.

Veteran's Day

2008-11-11T08:39:00.000-08:00

I'll admit that in previous years I haven't given much thought into this day. When working for the bank, it was just a day off. I might be thankful momentarily for the service they rendered our country but only to ease my conscience.

Today, I am so thankful that men and women risked their lives for our freedom. We live in a democracy where our voices can be heard. We can give an outcry to injustice. Regardless if my voice isn't part of the majority, I still have a voice. I'm thankful we live in a country free of tyranny. Just yesterday I was reading of conflicts in Congo, Africa where the warlords and greedy, selfish governing officials are keeping food from the mouths of their own people! Praise God that we live in a country where we abound in food.

Today, I am also reminded of another life that was given for our freedom. God's own glory revealed in flesh. His Son, Jesus Christ, laid down His life so that we would be free. Free indeed.

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth...

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

and the son of man that you care for him?

Psalm 8:1,3,4

Why God chose me to live in America is as baffling to me as to why He would choose to save me. God poured His grace upon us so that we might go out and radiate that glory in all we do and say. Lord bless your day!

Re-Post: What to do with Halloween

2008-11-10T21:45:00.001-08:00

I got the following email shortly after taking down my post on Halloween and putting up my retraction:

Jan, I wish you hadn't taken down the post. It was a good discussion. You presented a very commonly held, and not hateful view that probably many people agree with. It was mostly positive. I highlighted a few phrases which I thought were the pillars of your argument, to see if they held up.
Twas a good discussion...I think others might have posted as well. No rush, but you might consider reposting it and adding your "retraction" statement as a comment to clarify that you do not wish to look pious at all.

It was a good discussion and continues to be although the election and God's sovereignty has trumped my discussion on a day that has come and gone. Nonetheless, I want to post it for two reasons. Maybe three. One is that it will save me the time to send it out the people who want to read it. Two, it gives me something to link to if the need arises and three I really want to see what others think. As I teach my kids why we do what we do, I want to show them how to continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Savior, Jesus Christ. This comes in the form of being convinced in our own hearts. So, here it is for the last time.

Autumn is my favorite time of year. I love the changing colors of the leaves that are in stark contrast to the evergreens that surround us. Fall leads us into Thanksgiving and onto Christmas. But first we must stagger through Halloween.

As a child, I remember this "holiday" as a day of dressing up as some innocent character and spending an evening at our church Harvest Party. No costumes could be ghoulish or gory and so if you stayed away from witches and monsters, it was okay. Nothing scary was allowed. One year I remember going trick-or-treating by way of shuttle courtesy of my mom as she drove to houses we knew. We then took our candy to the hospital, where my mom worked, and it was placed under x-ray making sure the morsels were safe to consume. Not sure if the exposure to radiology did any damage.

When I was about 12 or 13, our church at the time threw a Haunted House in the church!! We went through "cobwebs", stuck our hands in "eyeballs", and I saw my mom beheaded. It made such an impact on me that I ran out crying. It freaked me out. Talking to my mom about it today, she doesn't remember this. I will never forget.

When I attended a community college, I went out with two or three other friends one Halloween in attempts to get candy by going door-to-door but realized we were too old and figured sweets were only handed out to kids who had costumes. We didn't fit either one. Instead, we walked around the neighborhoods well after midnight and took pumpkins off doorsteps and dropped them on sidewalks. We thought we were being clever because there was a rock group in the mainstream at the time called The Smashing Pumpkins. We walked through a cemetery showing one another that we didn't think much of this night and even talked candidly about rituals that probably go on in cemeteries across the globe. Thankfully, we saw nothing but grey tombstones and heard nothing more than the crunching leaves under foot.

So, what's the point in all this? Well, the Lord has brought me on a journey as to how to deal with this day. The first Halloween after becoming a believer, I lived with my sister and her family. I was so adamant that her kids not go trick-or-treating but instead we would give out candy. My sis relented. I think she too was on a journey and wanted to truly honor the Lord. Problem is, it was done with such harshness and in my heart I was so judgmental to those who came to our door. It was like I had elevated myself above them by being on the inside of the door frame.

Later, after getting married and having a home of my own, Doug and I decided to hand out candy with tracts. We had some friends over and enjoyed their company very much. This was fine, I guess, but still there was something nagging inside me about the attitude I was harboring. Can God really be glorified in all of this? That was the year I heard about Reformation Day. More on that later.

In talking to others, I've found that there are a number of ways believers recognize this day. You know, make some fun memories for the kids. One family had a great reputation with their neighbors until Halloween came around. These well meaning believers went inside, turned off their lights and ate pizza with friends and then they were deemed "the weird neighbors." After that, they opened their home and entertained the neighbors with a chili feed. In Arizona, this was definitely doable. But the point is, they didn't stand at arms length but invited people into their home and celebrated fall/harvest and the changing of seasons (though this had to be done with synthetic leaves as you could imagine in the desert.) Another mom told me they don't let their kids go door-to-door to ask for things 364 days of the year, why do it on this day. This is coupled with the explanation that as Christians, they are to do all things that bring God glory. A good friend of mine who is a new believer said very simply, why would I want to celebrate a pagan holiday. Others I know of, allow their kids to dress up and participate at school where no scary things are allowed and have peace about that. Some allow their kids to gather candy but at the non-scary houses.

These last several years, Halloween has really come and gone and I haven't given much thought to it. We moved to the country where nobody comes to trick-or-treat and my kids haven't had a clue. Until now.Emily is now five and Lydia is three with Micah right behind them at 17 1/2 months. They are starting to pay attention. Times have changed where Halloween is anticipated, decorated for in the most elaborate ways and celebrated without much thought that it is a pagan holiday that celebrates wickedness.

The bible says, God purchased us by the blood of His Son to redeem us from all unrighteousness. Those who know God know that we were bought with a price and therefore serve Him. God loves us with a jealous kind of love. So, as I raise my kids to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul and mind, how can I compromise and allow them to be a part of a day that rejoices in evil?

So, when we go into the world and are greeted with a cherry Happy Halloween, I simply smile as if I'm saying, "Yes, I would love to come to tea", tell them very politely, "oh, we don't do Halloween." I have never received any negative remarks or downcast eyes. Even if I did, it wouldn't change the joy I have in my heart that I can show my children that there is no room for compromise. There are too many things already that get in our way and become idols that lure us away from loving God with all our hearts. Why complicate it with a day that celebrates the dead, wicked and anything evil? October 31st is a day in which we celebrate Reformation Day and I will post on this Friday. I'd like to hear from you. What are your thoughts about Halloween? I'd love to hear your journey of how the Lord convicted you to do what you do and please include scripture.
Posted by Janice at 12:50 PM Labels: About Me, Christian Living

All comments that were made to the original post will be posted under comments.

A Nation in Waiting

2008-11-05T21:57:00.000-08:00

Great. Now what? Abortion. Higher taxes. Same-sex marriage. Assisted suicide. Persecution. Reduced military. Failing economy. Attacks on the family. Uncertainties with education. Anxiety. Fear...

Stop.

"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations.
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

God is ruler of all. He is the ultimate Authority. His sovereign hand is still working. I do not fear man who can take away my body. I fear the One Who has the ability to take my body and soul. Two songs, I leave you with.

So I Will Trust in You

Almighty Maker, Universe shaper

You put the stars into space

Yet You descended, You have befriended

Those who had hated Your name, just like me

King of Glory, I know You love me

So I will trust You, yes I will trust You

God Almighty, You have saved me

So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

Lord over nations, King of Creation

Heaven and earth bow to You

I am Your child, I’ve been reconciled

With tender affection You drew me to You

How could I not trust my King

The One who has formed me and shaped me

I will rejoice and will sing

For the One who has made me has saved me

As Long as You are Glorified

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings

Yet not welcome any pain

Shall I thank You for days of sunshine

Yet grumble in days of rain

Shall I love You in times of plenty

Then leave You in days of drought

Shall I trust when I reap a harvest

But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me

In Your love I will abide

Oh I long for nothing else as long

As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper

And true only when I’m filled

Are You King only when I’m carefree

And God only when I’m well

You are good when I’m poor and needy

You are true when I’m parched and dry

You still reign in the deepest valley

You’re still God in the darkest night

both songs from Come Weary Saints by Sovereign Grace

Clearing the air

2008-10-31T17:13:00.000-07:00

My first retraction (though my opinions have not changed):
Okay, so the post I made on Halloween definitely got me thinking. It's one thing to have someone ask what you do for this day and it's another to spout out a "mightier than thou" attitude. Though none of my comments said I did this, it is my desire to glorify God with this blog and the more I thought about it, it did seem a bit in-your-face and could have been perceived as a legalistic view. Now, I still have not changed my views on the day, however, if a non-believing, un-regenerate heart were to read my entry, I don't think they would have been drawn closer to the cross. As I considered how they might think of the entry, I decided it best to leave the discussion for a dinner topic, conversation over tea, or a laid back time with friends and not the public forum of the blogosphere.

If you care to know what I wrote, I'll email a copy of it to you (including the comments.)

Happy Reformation Day!

2008-10-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Info and pictures from Wikipedia under Martin Luther, Reformation Day.

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the doors of the All Saints' Church that brought into question the church's position and practice of namely, indulgences and the Church's policy on purgatory. Other practices under fire from Protestant Reformers included purgatory, particular judgment, devotion to Mary, the intercession of and devotion to the saints, most of the sacraments, the mandatory celibacy of it's clergy and the authority of the Pope.

Luther was a German monk, theologian, university professor and church reformer. He translated the bible into the vernacular of the people which made the Scriptures more accessible to them and had a tremendous political impact on the church and the German culture. It furthered the development of a standard version of the German language, added several principles to the art of translation, and influenced the translation of the English KJV Bible. His hymns inspired the development of congregational singing within Christianity. His marriage to Katharina von Bora set a model for the practice of clerical marriage within Protestantism.

So, what should this mean for us today? Luther, though imperfect, was a trailblazer who set forth to free himself from the grips of the Catholic church and led many to experience the same freedom. Through the reading of the Word, He saw that salvation was from God alone, through Christ alone, by faith alone. By grace alone. This day is a special day to celebrate the freedom we have in Christ and a day to rejoice that we have the Word readily available at our fingertips.

Take some time today to praise God for His calling on your life.

Here's to a gospel-centered day and weekend!

My Cup Runneth Over

2008-10-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

It is the end of another day. The kids are in bed, the dishes are done (thanks, Nana) and I don't have a pile of laundry on my bed waiting to be shuffled to the couch so I can have a place to sleep. I am so incredibly blessed. As I look back at the last couple of days, I'm reminded anew of how great my God is and how small I am. His loving kindness does not end and as He reveals Himself to me, I am in awe that He would choose to save me and not only redeem me, but continue to work in me with love and patience even when I mess up. There are many vessels and avenues God uses to sanctify me and the one He used today was my dearest friend, my husband.

My dear hubby is married to the worst person I know. I was gone last week from Thursday afternoon to Saturday early evening learning, laughing and crying with the ladies of my church as we retreated in beautiful Lincoln City, OR. This ladies retreat was built on the study of Titus 2. In this familiar passage, we are exhorted as women to love our husbands with a tender, passionate kind of love. A phileo kind of love. This is particularly hard because sometimes I get caught up in serving and miss out on cultivating tender thoughts and cherishing my Sweety.

Today was no exception and I'm not ashamed to show my sinful side because grace abounded more and the longer you know me, you'll see the sinful side yourself as I am still being molded and shaped to come into the presence of my great God and King.

Okay, so here's how it went. While I was away at the retreat, Doug decided to surprise me by adding some much needed cabinets in our utility room for added storage. We are simplifying our home and this storage is needed for the large supply of paper towel and toilet paper rolls we get from Costco-among other things. It will get things off the floor and behind clean, white doors. So, Doug installed the cabinets, cleaned the floor and waited with eagerness to show off his hard work.

His hard work was greatly appreciated when I came home from a sleep-deprived weekend. It looked so neat and clean and I was very impressed at his efforts. That was Saturday. Sunday came and went with godly conversations and heart-to-heart talks on what I learned at the retreat and how excited I was to put some things into action and even this morning we had a wonderful time of prayer together before going about our busy Monday. Then, I heard the bomb. Doug informs me that in his installing/cleaning frenzy, he failed to bring in several items from the utility room back indoors...out of the rain...Great, now my schedule is all janked up because of him.

Grrr! All the loving, warm thoughts I had for my husband were gone. The closeness I felt from prayer-vanished. I was livid. I'm out in the cold pulling in cleaning supplies, a pack-in-play, goodwill items that were in a bag, a silver-plated cake stand, shelves, and a bag of keepsakes that were baby cards and drawings from the girls. This is what put me over the edge. I didn't hesitate to tell Doug that his efforts were careless and reckless. I pulled them in, and sharply told my mom that they needed to dry out as she asked what she could do to help.

I remember specifically saying out loud, I do not want to forgive him. The Lord then asked, "What would you do if I said that to you?" But Lord you did forgive me. "So then, you must forgive Doug." I can't! Please help me, I say. Just then my friend Jennifer calls and I lament to her at how angry I am and yet how I desire to do what's right. It's hard I tell her. I know I need to forgive the way Christ forgave me but that's not some magic formula that works instantly. She was very wise to advice me to let it cool and pointed out that sometimes in these situations she has found that she has been at fault once she gave time to think about it. I quickly concluded that it wasn't my fault. I was out of town.

Now, you may wonder what the big deal is. So he forgot to bring in a few things. They dry, right? And so what if you lose out on a few keepsakes? There will be more. Well, I'd say to you that you have a lot more self-control than I do but that's slowly changing. You see, as I went to the table to see what damage was done I noticed that a.) the papers were bone dry and b.) this is the part where God really does a work in my heart...it wasn't my bag of keepsakes. It was garbage!! Yep. I lost it over trash. There were drawings in there but not ones worth keeping. I'm up to my eyeballs in precious scribblings from my children. What I must have seen was the colorful bag the cards used to be kept in and the decorative Build-A-Bear birth certificates that made me think it was a bag of treasure.

Oh, the shame of it all. Thankfully (and I don't use that word lightly here) I have a gracious husband who allowed me to sincerely apologize without making me feel worse than I did and two that I have a loving, forgiving, heavenly Father. He keeps His promises when I pray for Him to work in my life so that I become the wife he wants me to be.

How I love to end a day without shame. Without guilt. Confession is good for the soul.

Laziness

2008-10-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's one thing for your laziness to affect yourself, but when that laziness affects those you love, well...it makes you feel terrible.

Such a feeling came over me this week. I took Emily, my five-year-old, to the dentist. This was her second time going in and they did x-rays this time around and found decay. I was bummed because I am the one who brushes her teeth. But we don't floss. So, sure enough she had a cavity at the back molar between the teeth. Had I flossed her teeth regularly, I'm sure she wouldn't have a cavity. She hasn't complained about pain and the hygienist said it's a very small amount of decay. I hate that word-decay. So, we headed off to Target and bought some ACT mouthwash and these great little flossers for kids. They're neon colored and are very easy to use. Mind you this will increase our bedtime routine by several minutes. But, I'm convinced the oral health of my children is more important than my time.

Here is a video of my little Micah Man(17mos) getting his teeth brushed:

Remember, floss 'em or soak 'em. Courtesy Chris Merkel. :o)

Motivation for Christian Living

2008-10-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

sermon notes from Applications from the Mockings of Jesus 9-21-08 Hanafee

Two things will motivate us to live upright and godly lives. One is guilt. The other is gratitude. When guilt is the motive, we're like a 4th of July sparkler. It's like holding a wick to a stick of dynamite. The flame ignites lots of productive activity that looks appealing but instead of burning down to something explosive, it just fades out and is dead. I've been here many times. A sermon will prick my heart and stir my spirit. I feel the weight of a Holy God looking down on me in disgust and I crawl out from under my rock and pull myself up and say, "Okay, Lord. From now on, I'm going to do better." Then, reality sets in. I sin. And the cycle starts all over again. This routine is not only defeating but un-biblical.

Romans 8:1(ESV) says: "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." my emphasis added. This is the key for seeking sanctification with a heart of gratitude. Thanking God for what He has done for us. But what does that look like and how can we protect our minds from believing the lies that make us think a.)we have the ability to change and b.)God is looking down with disapproving nods so we better get our act together.

First, read Mark 15:16-21. Then, ask yourself, "What does the gospel bring to bear in this fight for sanctification?" Let's look at 4 cross-centered weapons.

1. If Christ went through all of this for me, He will not forsake me in my trials and struggles. Being a Christian, doesn't mean we will be perfect but it also doesn't mean we can't have victory. After failing time and time again in one area it's easy to think we will never overcome. We think we have to just settle for this "lot in life." We give up and quit in that particular area. Let's see what the Bible reminds us. Isaiah 49:15b-16a (ESV) says, "...yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." Romans 8:32 (ESV) says, "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" See, when we give up and are content to not allow the Spirit to work in those difficult areas of sin, we are saying Christ's work wasn't good enough. Listen, Christ died for sin. Period.

2. Drop the shame. We carry a backpack of shame that's not ours to carry. We need to preach to ourselves the atoning work of Christ. My study Bible writes, "An atonement is a reconciliation of alienated parties, the restoration of a broken relationship. Atonement is accomplished by making amends, blotting our offenses, and giving satisfaction for wrongs done." It continues, "According to Scripture every person sins and needs to make atonement, but lacks the power and resources for doing so. We have offended our Creator, who's nature is to hate sin (Jer. 44:4; Hab 1:13) and to punish it (Ps. 5:4-6; Rom. 1:18, 2:5-9.)" Christ is our atoning sacrifice. He paid the ransom and absorbed God's wrath. The weight of our sin is no longer on us. When we do sin, confess, repent and then rest in God's grace. 1 John 1:9

3. When we are tempted to sin, we need to think of His mocking. Call to mind the scene in Mark 15:16-21. The King of kings and Lord of lords endured brutality and shame and was rejection for sin. My sin. Your sin. Protect your mind. Don't indulge the place in your mind that is a secret place for sin. Do everything possible to keep the gospel in the forefront of your mind. Endeavor to live in the gospel. Remember, the gospel is not a door. It's a building. A place we go into for healing, rejoicing and a place to be armed. Our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

4. When our motivation to live a holy like comes from gratitude and not guilt, we have the makings of radical living. Christ went outside the camp to face reproach for us. He has asked us to treasure Him above all else. He will not leave us or forsake us. Heb. 13:5

Are you struggling under guilt or soaring with gratitude?

Two more and I'm done

2008-10-06T08:32:00.000-07:00

I'm really not trying to stretch out my birthday blabbings but I forgot to mention some very special gifts I received for my birthday. One friend has an amazing ability to remember people (all ages) on their birthdays and then gets them special, relevant gifts. She knows exactly what would be appreciated and this last birthday was no exception. My dear friend gave me a lovely Willow Tree ornament that commemorates kindness and an Evangecube. I love this thing. It's a great way to share the gospel and the beautiful thing is, it doesn't have words. I love tracts and pamphlets about Christ but sometimes you have to interject truth or correct false doctrines. The EvangeCube is illustrated nicely. If you don't have one, I suggest getting one. It can keep you polished on sharing the gospel and if you're a visual person like myself, the images can be a guide as you talk about Christ even if you don't have the cube with you.

One more loving gift was dinner and a movie with some very dear friends. This was the first time the six of us have gotten together without any children. Between the three couples, we have 8 children that were watched by loving family members. The fellowship was sweet, the food was good and the movie was excellent. At some point I want to write a review on the movie Fireproof. Let me just say that this is a must see!

Double Digits

2008-10-03T13:13:00.001-07:00

This past Wednesday, October 1, I turned 33. My birthday happened on the most busiest days of our week therefore, I'm posting about it 3 days later.

Birthdays bring reflection. Or tears, but I'm not that old yet. I can say I have a memory from 30 years ago. When I was 3 my mom made me brownies for my birthday. I remember her telling me not to touch the pan because it was very hot. Somehow I touched the pan. Memories are often remembered because of their significance. Fast forward to the summer before my 11th birthday. My mom, sister and step-dad relocated from my home state of Texas to the best state in the union, Oregon. I consider myself a Tex-Oregonian. I'm fond of this beautiful state because it is here that I saw my need for my Savior, Jesus Christ. It is here that I met my wonderful husband, Doug. It is here that I have welcomed three beautiful children into the world. And it is here that God has me to grow in sanctification and each day I'm reminded that I need His strength to be a godly wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, friend, neighbor, member of society.

Anyway, these are the random thoughts that came to mind as I reflected on another year that God has given me. May I take to heart the very sentiments I give others on their birthdays, "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."

Here are some wonderful gifts of love that I received:

The beautiful bouquet of roses is from my dear husband.

The cards are from my daughters and their friends. The night before my birthday, I was at a ladies bible study with Jen and Doug watched her 4 girls and then of course, had our three. I woke the next morning to a pile of adorable scribblings and drawings made from little hands and received with much love. Because my kiddos have all-access to construction paper, I received cards throughout the day. My aunt from Connecticut sent a very loving card and if you'll notice, Dress Barn didn't forget me either. I also received other cards(with cash!), emails, phone calls and e-cards that made me feel loved.

The last gift was probably my favorite from my in-loves. Each were picked with a purpose, assembled with love and delivered with joy. Thank you, Mom and Dad for blessing me with this beautiful display of God's provision.

Thank you, Lord for a wonderful day and another year to be sanctified. May I not waste my life!

Google will now allow pro-life abortion ads

2008-10-03T12:55:00.001-07:00

Google will now allow pro-life abortion ads

Posted using ShareThis

Yah, what she said...

2008-09-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

This blogging business is much harder than I realized. When I first started, I had the idea that I would use it as a sound board to share what God is doing in my life and to hear from others as they walk through the sanctifying work of Christ in their own lives. Problem is, to find time to blog is difficult. My children seem to take up my free-time. Imagine that. :o)

I have a list on my desk of potential blog entries but soon time passes and the idea is no longer fresh or the moment has passed. Is it too late to blog about my dear husband's surprise birthday party...two weeks ago?

One entry was going to be a follow-up to The Gospel. Then, I saw that my idea was articulated very well (much better than I would have) here.

The beautiful thing about blogging-linking.

Baby Chicks

2008-09-18T12:28:00.001-07:00

This past spring, Doug and I thought it would be nice to have some chickens. The eggs would be nice to have and it would give our kids a job to do. My biggest complaint with chickens though is the smell of the coop. So, after doing much research, Doug found a portable hen house that will enable the chickens to move around the yard but still be protected by varmints.

So, I asked my dear husband to please not order the chicks until the portable coop (also known as The Chicken Tractor) was built for obvious reasons. It's never a good thing to get the cart before the horse.

Well...you guessed it. Chicks came before the coop. They arrived last week and now we have baby chicks that aren't so little anymore and my dear sweetie is out right now desperately building our coop. Oh, I forgot to mention we went in with others on the chicken order, so there is a need for three coops.

I'm not going to say it...

Below are some videos of the little darlings on the day they arrived.

Where do I begin?

2008-09-16T22:28:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's hard to believe it's been two weeks since my last post. So much is going on and I want to write about it all. To relieve pressure from my brain I think I should hint on some highlights and expound later.

So, the last two weeks. Here's a quick recap:

No more visits to KATU and Fox News websites. Great safeguard for my thought life.
Getting the kids to bed by 8:30 (most nights) then going to bed shortly after.
Able to get up before my kids which allows much needed time in the Word and Bible study.
Growing, praying and learning a LOT from Bible study.
Started homeschooling. K5 and pre-school.
Got baby chicks! Pictures are coming soon.
Celebrated my husband's birthday.
Simplifying our lives by getting rid of toys and unused items.
Making a schedule and taking my role as home manager seriously thanks to http://www.simplemom.net/.
Learning to cherish my husband and children with a phileo kind of love.
Starting up accountability relationships.
Seeing answered prayer.
Resting in the gospel more and more each and every day.

I wish I had the ability to express my heart on each of these in an eloquent way but seem to have a lack of words. My heart is so full of God's goodness and I marvel and rejoice at His free outpouring of grace each and every second I take a breath.

The Gospel

2008-09-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

What's the gospel? It's the good news. The way of salvation. How I got saved. What others need to hear. What I should preach or proclaim. It's what evangelists yell from the pulpit. It's that one-time event in which I gained access to heaven. hmmm...

This used to be the extent of my understanding of the gospel. I used to discredit my salvation by thinking the gospel was the act of me recognizing Christ died for my sins but now it's up to me to start doing the Christian thing. Yes, I would need the power of the Holy Spirit but the gospel was no longer relevent. When the gospel was preached, I would sigh and endure...thinking, I've heard this before...then I would start praying for all the lost souls in the room to be moved enough to accept Jesus as their Savior. To me, there was little affect on my life. I say little, not none.

Oh, what a different story it is now. The gospel is my LIFE!! I need it day-by-day, moment-by-moment, sin-by-wretched sin. As John Piper put it, (and I'm paraphrasing), we use the cross as a ticket. A bloody ticket to "get us in." Once into heaven, we're home free and free sailing. What do we do with a ticket? We throw it away. Once we've gained access, we're done with it. Christ is NOT our ticket! He is our atoning sacrifice. The Just for the unjust. Our redeemer. Our means of coming to the throne of grace. Words do not begin to describe the awesomeness of who Christ is.

But the word of God does. Once I saw who God is-who He is according to His word and not by my own imagination, then I saw who I was-vile, despicable, a hater of God. Then, I saw who Christ truly is. The One who bore my shame. Bore my wrath. Took my punishment. Now, why would I want to throw that away? I don't.

Take six minutes to listen to the following excerpt: The Gospel in 6 Minutes.

Lord bless you!

Vitals

2008-08-29T23:04:00.001-07:00

My friend Jennifer and I went into Portland to the Vital Records Office and made it back without any scars. Going into Portland, I set my expectations high that I'm either going to get lost or become anxious over parking or get lost. It was a surprisingly uneventful event. First, we found it with no problem because it was 7 blocks away from where I used to work. Second, we didn't have to pay for parking because a very nice man gave us his parking receipt that had an hour and fifteen minutes left on it. Third, we were in and out with 4 birth certificates in about 15 minutes.

But, here's the sad part. I wanted to pass on the parking pass that had a good hour on it, so I walk through the parking lot looking for someone who I can "bless." The first guy I approached had just ran his debit card and was already retrieving his ticket. Too late. I then walk a little farther, dodging a woman in her minivan trying to park, and wait for her to roll down her window so I can give her this parking ticket. Mind you, it's only a dollar to park for an hour. So, I give her the ticket. She saves a buck. But, what struck my spiritual heart and conscience is that I wonder why I don't have the same enthusiasm, courage and willingness to get the gospel into someone's hand? What am I so afraid of?

Ironic that I was at the vitals office. A place that hands out certificates of birth, death and marriage. Go deep with the spiritual comparisons found in scripture on each of these.

On my heart

2008-08-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

As mentioned before, I think of a lot of things to blog about but don't take the time to do it. Well, one thing that is really heavy on my heart is the very controversial view of the Doctrines of Grace also known as Calvinism. Now, I personally don't like to say I am a Calvinist because Calvin was a mere man (a sinner) who did some terrible things in his life and when anyone wants to attack the view of the doctrines of grace, he is an easy target. The second reason I don't like the title is because Paul himself warned Christians not to say they are of Paul or Apollos. Believers are to say, "I am of the Lord Jesus Christ."

This is a widely debated topic across the globe and I will be the first to say I am no scholar or theological expert on it. However, I have been convinced in my heart that when I stand before my Savior on the Great Judgement Day, it will be confirmed that I did not place the cloak of righteousness on myself but that it was placed on me by the great mercy and grace of a loving Father. Not because of anything I've done to deserve it, but by His own good pleasure and will.

There is much, much, much to say on this matter and so many have said lots so as not to create a huge debate platform, I just want to share what's on my heart of late concerning this wonderful doctrine of grace.

I've been handed a lot of pamphlets and gotten into some very heated unexpected debates with family members on this topic. Let me stress unexpected. I don't look for the opportunity to discuss this topic and won't finish the conversation if there are underlying tones of anger. I will do my best to convey what I believe if it comes up. I can't help but want to defend my God and Savior. Here's an example. God did not crush His Son just to sit back and say to the world, "Okay, I've done my part now I'm just waiting on you." The Bible is clear that none seek after God and that we are at enmity with Him. So to say that we choose Him is wrong. Secondly and lastly for now, Christ will have His full reward for His sufferings.

Here are some great sermons that have helped me tremendously savor this doctrine:

Click on Session III John MacArthur

God's Particular Love for Election

Tenth of the way there

2008-08-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Lisa has just celebrated her 100th post by posting 100 random things about her and her family. Very funny. She asked what happened to my passion for blogging. It's still here. I think of stuff to write all the time but sitting down to do it is well, a time-sucker. Is that a word? Regardless, I want to write but find I don't have time and quite frankly, I don't want to say anything stupid and look like a moron. Zip-it, Sharon. :)

So, I'm a tenth of the way to 100 posts as this is my 10th post and hopefully I will keep going.

Family

2008-07-16T15:37:00.000-07:00

F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,

the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

I am all too aware that I speak more politely to strangers than I do my loved ones. May God continue to mature in me a heart of compassion (Colossians 3:12-14) and that kindness would be on my lips (Proverbs 31:26).

Diary of a Bible-Is it Yours?

2008-07-15T17:33:00.000-07:00

I came across this today and though it can be a bit of a dramatic exaggeration, I still couldn't help but think of how often I read my Bible and how I cherish it.

So, here goes, The Diary of a Bible--Was it Yours?

January 15-Been resting quietly for a week. The first few nights after the first of this year my owner read me regularly, but he has forgotten me, I guess.

February 2-Clean up. I was dusted with other things and put back in my place.

February 12-Owner used me last night for a short time after dinner, looking up a few references. Went to Sunday School.

March 7-Clean up. I am dusted and in my old place again. I have been down in the lower hall since my trip to Sunday School.

April 12-Busy day. Owner led league meeting and had to look up references. He had an awful time finding one, though it was right there in it's place the whole time.

May 5-In Grandma's lap all afternoon. She is here on a visit. She let a tear drop fall on Colossians 2:5-7.

May 6-In Grandma's lap again this afternoon. She spent most of her time on 1 Corinthians 13 and the last four verses of the 15th chapter.

May 7, 8, 9-In Grandma's lap every afternoon now. It's a comfortable spot. Sometimes she reads me and sometimes she talks to me.

May 10-Grandma is gone. Back in the old place. She kissed me good-bye.

June 3-Had a couple four-leaved clovers stuck in me today.

July 1-Packed in a trunk with clothes and other things. Off on a vacation, I guess.

July 7-Still in the trunk.

July 10-Still in the trunk, though nearly everything else has been taken out.

July 15-Home again and in my old place. It was quite a journey, but I do not see why I went.

August1-Rather stuffy and hot. I have two magazines, a novel and an old hat on top of me. Wish they would take them off.

August 12-Clean-up. Dusted and set right again.

August 20-Used by Mary a few moments today. She was writing a friend whose brother had died, and wanted an appropriate verse.

August 31-Clean-up again.

What is Radical Living?

2008-06-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. " John 15:5

Piper's sermon poses three questions:

1- How is radical, risk-taking sacrifice created?

2- What/Who is this great reward?

3- Where is outside the camp for YOU?

I'd like to know your thoughts.

Where did that come from? Conclusion

2008-06-10T22:24:00.000-07:00

I leave you with Colossians 3 ESV

Put On the New Self

1. If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. 12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Where did that come from? Part 4

2008-06-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

The sharing continues and I feel like I’m on a steam engine ascending a mountain and the fuel is the words of these women. Then the brakes were applied on my proverbial train. Did I hear that one was going to purge but got busy and is thinking of starting again? NO! I can’t let her lose her vision. I shoot my fist in the air and pump my arm and with a loud voice I tell her that we’ll help her keep that dream alive. Uh-oh, it's not my turn to talk anymore. Why can't I just zip it? Did I have too much caffeine? No, I'm just pumped up to hear these women feed on one another's desire to do radical things for their Lord and Savior and I'm SO blessed to be here with them.